


Playing House

by Repeatinglitanies



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Abortion, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dolls, Don't copy to another site, F/M, Gen, Pseudo-Incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2020-11-26 22:04:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20937467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Repeatinglitanies/pseuds/Repeatinglitanies
Summary: Vanya didn't need to put up an act with Five. But with him gone, she had to act as if her life depended on it.





	1. Chapter 1

Vanya felt numb for as long as she could remember. Not in the physical sense. That would have greatly affected her work on her violin. But in the emotional sense. This was not to say that she couldn’t feel sadness, joy or anger. Just that it was tamped down.

As a young child, she always blamed it for her inability to form meaningful connections with the rest of her siblings. Well, all of them except for Five. 

With the others, she had to put on an act. Vanya had to observe them and the people outside her bedroom window just to be able to imitate reactions, gestures or any other signs to show happiness or displeasure. It didn’t take her long to learn that her siblings had no time for a needy sister who didn't know how to carry herself around them. 

In that, they were just like the people she observed outside the Academy and the people she saw on television during the few times Dad allowed them to watch it. In general, people didn’t like being with sad people. They usually felt uncomfortable with them and treated them as if they had a sort of disease.

It was different if someone actually cared for the sad person. In that case, the person who cared would stay no matter what and keep the sad person company for as long as it took.

Five was that way with her. And that was why she loved him best.

So with Five, she didn’t need to stretch her mouth to form a smile when she felt that pinprick of melancholy. She didn’t need to appear strong whenever she felt like the slightest touch would break her and scatter the pieces.

But with the others, she had to be the ever-agreeable, ever-reliable sister. Just so that she could be sort-of accepted into their circle. To her frustration, she never really felt like she belonged in the Academy in spite of her efforts. 

Dad always had to remind her and everyone else how unremarkable she was in a house full of extraordinary individuals.

Maybe it was because she and Five were considered the outcasts of the family. Her, for obvious reasons. And Five, for always being arrogant and more than occasionally unpleasant to the rest of the family, even Dad. She loved Five. But even she sometimes got annoyed by his know-it-all attitude. 

Though the good thing with hanging out with Five was that she always knew where she stood with him. There was no pressure to be anything more than she was. Five liked to talk. And Vanya loved to listen. Even as kids, she and Five had formed their own little group. When the others weren’t looking, they would play house, with her the wife and Five the husband. Looking back, Vanya figured that Five played along only to humor her at first. 

Why he continued, only Five could say. But Vanya believed that Five liked spending time with her. And when they got older, they discovered what being a husband and wife really meant. 

Vanya couldn’t remember feeling as happy as she did when she and Five were in his room, naked and limbs entwined, and discussing the future they would have beyond the Umbrella Academy. Not even the familiar feeling of numbness couldn’t take away her joy.

But it was short-lived.

Five had always wanted to time travel in spite of (though if Vanya was being honest with herself, it was probably because of) Dad’s objections. Five chafed at the limits imposed on his abilities. He continuously took a lot of sugar and carbohydrates (in the form of Vanya’s handmade peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches) in order to replenish the energy he lost when using his powers.

Apparently, spatial jumps required a lot of energy. And Five could only use it a certain number of times each day. After which, his powers would fail him.

Dad said that a similar and different principle applied to time travel. On the one hand, it also required a huge amount of energy. But on the other hand, time travel was more of a rocky road when compared to the smooth sailing of a spatial jump.

In short, it was dangerous.

And that was the only reason Vanya didn’t want Five to do it. She had tried numerous times to dissuade him. But knowing Five, it all fell to deaf ears. His trust in his abilities was absolute. After all, Five was the only one of the siblings to actually have genius-level intellect. And he had covered all the bases. So there was no way his attempt would go wrong.

The morning he rushed out of the door after another refusal from Dad was the last time she saw him.

Most nights, she would try to think kindly of Five and leave him his favorite sandwich. She had hoped each night to be the night when he’d come home. She would always end up heartbroken. Vanya tried to tell herself he was just stuck somewhere in time and was doing everything he could to get back.

They had made plans together. He wouldn’t just run away from home. Five could get impulsive sometimes but there was no way he’d leave without planning his next move. In her heart of hearts, she truly believed that there was no way he’d leave her. At least, not without saying goodbye.

But on other nights, the part of her that was more prone to give in to anger and sorrow would see Five’s disappearance as more of a betrayal. Perhaps Five found a better time, a better place and a better life to live in. Maybe it was so good that he forgot about her. 

Despite the numbness, Vanya found that tears could still well up in her eyes and eventually make their way down her cheeks.

A few months later, she discovered that she didn’t have the time nor the energy to wallow in self-pity. 

Vanya was pregnant. 

The realization gave her a prickle of anxiety. But it didn’t match the other feeling that came. Something she hadn’t felt since Five walked out the door. 

It was hope.

Secretly, she read up on books about pregnancy and what to expect before, during and after a baby comes. It was honestly all overwhelming, especially when she decided to discontinue her medication. This was also decided and done without Dad, Mom or Pogo’s knowledge. 

Vanya had read up on food and medication to avoid during pregnancy. And it honestly left her feeling stupid to realize that she didn’t even know the name of the pills she had taken every day for as long as she could remember. Come to think of it, she didn't even know what the pills were for.

Every instinct told her that asking Dad about her medication was a bad idea. Cluing Dad in about her pregnancy was a bad idea.

It would be accurate to say that she had become a ball of nerves. Even worse was the fact that she felt things more strongly than before. Things that she could previously hide with a serene smile such as how Luther and Diego’s bickering annoyed her became a huge effort to conceal.

Exacerbating matters was the fact that she had powers. It was ironic how she suddenly got them at a point in time when she needed them the least. 

It all started because of a prank gone wrong. Klaus wanted to get back at Diego by throwing a bucket full of red dyed water at him. He waited at the end of the hallway fully expecting Diego to come by. He got Vanya instead. For all intents and purposes, it just so happened that they heard the crash of the chandelier around the same time as Vanya's screams. At least that was what they thought.

Initially, it never occurred to Vanya to connect the chandelier's descent with her shock. She thought it was a freak accident. After all, she was supposed to be the ordinary one in the family. So she couldn’t have caused something so inexplicable.

By that time, Vanya was officially attending a normal school. When once she felt crushed and heartbroken for not making the cut at the Umbrella Academy, she now looked forward to going to a place outside of home (if the Umbrella Academy could ever truly be called a home). School was her sanctuary away from the source of her worries. At least, that was what she thought until weird things started happening to her there as well.

It started raining every time she thought of Five, which was almost every time she wasn’t focusing directly on how to deal with her pregnancy. She started to hear people talking as far as five classrooms down the hall. A friend she was walking with narrowly missed being run over when what her friend called an unseen force somehow dragged her away from the road and onto the sidewalk.

All this, she was able to brush away. Until the night she found herself the last one at school. It was dark when she finally left the building. Vanya briefly considered stopping by at Griddys to get a bite to eat. But just as she changed her mind to head home, she heard someone following her. 

In alarm, Vanya started walking faster only for her to sense her would-be stalker picking up the pace as well.

Vanya truly wanted to think she was imagining things. But as soon as she was in a secluded alley (and she felt so stupid as soon as she got there), the stalker had managed to grab her by the hair and brandish a knife, the blade already by her throat. 

The strange thing was that the man looked like an ordinary, mild-mannered adult she would have passed by on the streets. But nothing about his actions now and the look in his eyes indicated that he meant no harm. 

He told her to not to move and stay quiet. He didn’t need to spell out what would happen if she didn’t. 

Vanya didn’t know why but instead of panicking or begging for mercy. She found herself thinking of what Five would do. 

If he were here, Five would look at the facts. 

Vanya had seen the man’s face. She was a would-be victim. And if she allowed this monster to do what he wanted with her, he had every reason to want to kill her or at the very least incapacitate her enough to be unable to identify him later to the police. 

The thought that someone would want to use her and then discard her like trash outraged her. Besides that, she was pregnant. A threat to her was a threat to her baby. She couldn't have that. This baby was all she had.

She had to kill him before he killed them.

And as soon as the thought materialized, the would-be predator hit the side of the building. He had coughed up blood. Vanya noticed that something was wrong with his chest and throat as if some unnamed, invisible force had crushed it.

The imagery somehow got her mind racing. The evidence began to mount up. Finally, Vanya was able to see what she had disregarded for some time now. She was that force, powerful enough to end a man's life without even breaking a sweat.

She had powers. 

Vanya should have called the police as soon as the man crumpled to the ground. Instead, she ran all the way home. No one was awake by the time she got back. A quick trip to the bathroom revealed that she was unhurt. The man's blood didn't even reach her clothes. It was just as well.

Her head told her to talk to Dad. She had powers and she needed help controlling it. She had just killed a man.

And yet, her instincts again told her not to tell Dad. How many secrets was she now keeping from him and the rest of her family? Far too many for Vanya’s liking.

At first, she couldn’t understand why she was acting this way.

Reginald trained her siblings. Of all the people in this world, he was the one who would be best able to help her. He taught his children (at least most of them) how to deal with criminals. So shouldn't he be the one she sought out for validation of her actions? She used her powers to defend herself against a man who wanted to harm her even though she had done nothing to deserve it.

But would he even help her? Would he even make any attempt to comfort her? Vanya honestly couldn’t picture Dad doing any of those things, at least not for her benefit. Dad never treated them like children. Vanya and her siblings were more like science experiments to him. 

And that was when it all came to her. The pills. All this time, Dad had told her she needed to take them for her health. But she wasn't even told what the hell was wrong with her. All the weird things started happening as soon as she stopped taking them. Her powers caused strange things to happen, which meant she was the one causing these weird but wonderful things.

The pills didn't keep her healthy. Based on how great she felt with the numbness gone, she was sure the pills tamped down her emotions and by extension her powers which seemed to manifest when she felt too strongly.

If it wasn’t for the baby, Vanya would have just curled up into a ball and given up. There was no way she was taking the pills again even if her powers got found out. Her baby’s health came first. But there was no way she would reveal her pregnancy to Reginald Hargreeves. She honestly didn’t know what he would do. But if the way she and her siblings were raised was any indication, the forecast for her baby wasn’t good.

What made things even worse was the utter sense of betrayal. Dad had known about her powers. He had always known. 

Had Pogo known as well? Vanya didn't want to think about it. But at some level, she knew what the answer would be. Pogo was Dad's assistant and most loyal servant. He had been with Dad since the very beginning.

Vanya felt more alone than ever.

She didn’t know how she was going to get through this. But she was going to be a mother. And she had to manage somehow.

________________

Over the next few months, she planned her escape. Vanya was seventeen and graduating soon. Reginald already paid the final tuition. So all Vanya needed was to attend class. Thankfully, Vanya had never been a fan of form fitting clothes and was thus able to hide her growing baby bump.

She had started taking part time jobs and saving enough money to rent a room after she moved out. But if all else failed, she’d take her chances in the homeless shelter.

At the same time, she managed to improve her acting abilities. Going so far as to employ method acting to keep her emotions and thus her powers in relative control.

In her mind, she was simply a girl preparing to leave her childhood home, trying to ensure she got her hard-won independence.

But in spite of all her caution and her best laid plans. Somehow, Reginald Hargreeves found out. Because one morning, she woke up in the infirmary. The old man himself standing by the foot of her bed telling her without ceremony that her pregnancy was terminated.

Vanya couldn’t remember hating anyone more. Everything in her wanted to end Reginald Hargreeves then and there. She contemplated having lightning strike him down or for the whole Academy to fall on his head. Then she thought of what it would feel like for him to experience his heart imploding on him.

Yes. That sounded excruciating.

So she concentrated on the beating of his heart. It was only then that she got distracted by how weird it sounded as if it wasn’t a human heart at all.

It led Vanya to wonder what sort of man or thing Reginald Hargreeves was.

Then she realized she still had her powers. Reginald knew of her pregnancy but not of her newly rediscovered abilities. During the times she managed to eavesdrop on Reginald’s “superhero” lessons, he had always stressed the importance of controlling one’s emotions. Emotions such as fear and anger got people into making stupid mistakes. Victory was always better assured when one acted with a cool head.

Despite everything, Vanya had to agree with that. After all, if Five hadn’t let his pride get the better of him, he would have been here with her and not stuck in some stupid era away from her.

Her powers were the only things she had left. And Vanya was not about to let the man she once called Dad to take it away from her. So she made herself beneath notice.

Besides, the police were still looking for the person responsible for the body in the alley. With the existence of people like her siblings and the utter bizarreness of how Vanya killed the man, the police couldn’t rule out the possibility of a killer with powers. 

The only reason she knew was because the cops came to the manor a few weeks from the night she killed the man to consult with Reginald. She had just learned how to focus her enhanced hearing. And she wasted no time in using it to learn of the details in their investigation.

Killing Reginald in almost the same way would only invite scrutiny Vanya was ill-prepared for. 

The best course of action was to lay low. So Vanya made herself believe that she had just lost everything. And nothing mattered. Given how near it was to the truth, she found the mindset an easy act to perpetuate. 

So it was that no matter what Reginald said or did, no matter Pogo and Mom’s concern, Vanya did not respond. For all intents and purposes, she would make them believe she was catatonic.

Which meant she had to remain that way even when she thought no one was looking, even if her siblings, for once, decided to pay attention to her. They now visited her every chance they got. Ben would read to her while Klaus tried to make her laugh. Allison would fix her hair and nails. Luther would help carry her around. And when no one was around, Diego wouldn’t even let his stutter stop him from begging her to come back to them.

It was an effort not to react to their antics. Just as it took everything she had not to burst into tears at the feel of the emptiness in her womb. But her life depended on maintaining an act.

Somehow, Dad managed to fool everyone into thinking she was ordinary. And if he did it once, he could probably do it again.

Staying below the radar was the only way to survive. It also gave her the opportunity to spy on Dad and Pogo.

The amazing thing about her new situation was that she didn’t need to lift a finger to get information. For once, her siblings were very forthcoming with their day, what Dad made them do and what their mission was about.

Having them believe she was in a catatonic state allowed them to spill their innermost thoughts and secrets to her without the risk of judgment. It confirmed a lot of things she already suspected of her siblings. Such as how Ben and Klaus wished they were ordinary like her. How Luther and Diego actually admired and envied the other’s qualities but refused to ever admit it to anyone else. How Allison didn’t want to fight crime and wanted to get as far away from the Umbrella Academy as she could the first chance she got. 

With her enhanced and focused hearing, she was able to confirm their confessions. Just as Vanya was able to answer some lingering questions by simply concentrating on Reginald Hargreeves’ office and the times when it was just Pogo and the old man together.

As she had already figured out, they had known of her powers all along. But because it was something Reginald did not know how to control, he had Vanya on medication that ensured the powers didn’t manifest. And when she was four, he had Allison rumor her into forgetting she had powers in the first place and almost all but ensuring she never rediscovered her abilities.

Vanya had been rumored to think she was ordinary. But not knowing how long the rumor’s effect would last on Vanya, Reginald took every opportunity to reiterate and remind Vanya and her siblings. Thus ensuring the effects of the rumor were kept in place by having Vanya believe it and having her siblings unknowingly reinforce it by treating her as ordinary.

From their conversations, Vanya could sense there was more. Apparently, both Dad and Pogo kept notes on all the children born on the 1st of October 1989. She would have taken the chance to break character in order to read those notes. But her abilities had gotten strong enough to allow her to notice hidden cameras all over the house.

In hindsight, that was probably how Reginald had always seemed to know all their little secrets. And probably how he figured out she was pregnant. The only places in the house that weren’t bugged were the bathroom.

This explained how they didn’t know she stopped taking her medication. Because she only ever disposed of the pill she kept beneath her tongue by flushing it down the toilet.

But she wasn’t as discreet when it came to reading up on pregnancy books in what she had once thought was the privacy of her own room.

And it didn’t take a genius to put two and two together and predict what could happen after she and Five had sex in his room.

If she had thought of Hargreeves Manor as a cage then, then it had just started to feel like a maximum security prison now.

No one was to be trusted. Not even the fellow inmates that were her siblings. Vanya might love them. But she couldn’t risk letting them in on her secret. Especially not in this house.

So even if she got to witness a different side to them, she continued with her act.

The problem was that she might not be able to keep her sanity for long. Intentionally isolating herself from human interactions and limiting her movements were taking a toll on her. At times, she contemplated breaking her silence, screaming out her agony and wreaking havoc. 

But throughout all that, she managed to barely hold on. Telling herself that if she wanted to get out of this alive and intact, she couldn’t afford to lose control of her emotions and by extension, her powers. Reginald Hargreeves was not human. She couldn’t assume that he could be killed by ordinary or extraordinary human means. So she had to literally lie in wait and let herself be subjected to the humiliating process of having someone else move, bathe and feed her.

Vanya told herself that this will all be worth it in the end. Somehow, some way she would make Reginald Hargreeves pay. That thought was actually one of the things that sustained her. That and reliving the memory of killing that man from the alley. He turned out to be a serial rapist that preyed on young girls. The memory of putting him in his place (on the ground, in hell or oblivion depending on Vanya’s mood for the day) felt good. 

Very, very good. Because for once, she had the power. And she decided someone else’s fate. The fact that this person would no doubt have hurt others again had he been allowed to live justified his death. So Vanya lost no sleep for what she had done.

In fact, she thought of possibly one day doing it again. That helped her a lot. Because above all else, her thoughts of vengeance and murder distracted her from the pain of losing both Five and the baby.

But in order to get to her goals, there had to be some way she could remain nonthreatening and beneath Reginald's concern while still being able to move and act freely. Her lack of reaction to anything convinced him to stop her medication. So she had use of her powers. That was good. But force of will and actual force could only take her so far. It couldn’t help perpetuate her charade indefinitely.  
__________

It was horrible of her. But Klaus’ drug use ended up saving her. A sober Klaus might not have even thought of bringing home a doll to keep her company. During a mission to Thailand, Klaus came across a couple of luk thep dolls and somehow got it into his head to have someone make a doll that looked like Five as a toddler.

Despite herself, seeing the doll garnered a reaction. One that not even Klaus, in his drug-induced haze, could miss.

So she had no choice but to continue. The doll wasn’t her baby. And it most certainly wasn’t Five. But she let herself believe in an alternate scenario. One where her baby lived but was taken away from her for a long time. But now, Klaus gave him back to her.

Vanya allowed tears to well out of her eyes. She attempted to get up. But days and weeks of intentional immobility made her weak.

Klaus has to help her up as she finally held her child for the first time.

“My baby,” she said all while crying and smiling at the same time.

“He looks just like Five.”

Vanya caught the mixture of joy and sadness in Klaus’ eyes. A part of her wanted to tell him that she knew it wasn’t the baby she had lost. That she still knew the difference between fantasy and reality. So he didn’t need to pity her. Especially when it was clear he had his own demons to face.

But then she remembered the cameras.

So she went back to cooing at her new baby, rocking and singing him to sleep. It wasn’t hard to play make believe. Klaus found a really talented doll maker.


	2. Chapter 2

Everyone in the manor chose to play along. Almost everyone. Of course, Reginald Hargreeves didn’t concern himself with what Vanya thought and felt. She suspected that he would very much have preferred for Vanya to have remained catatonic. It would certainly be less of a hassle to monitor a patient who couldn’t go anywhere or do anything. Vanya walking out and about and acting against his wishes was a risk, especially with the destructive potential of her powers.

Had everything gone his way, Vanya would have been rumored into forgetting about the doll Klaus brought her. Indeed, Vanya could feel her heart racing as soon as Reginald opened his mouth to give Allison the orders. 

She had made a grave miscalculation. Vanya didn’t want to go back to lying on a bed all day long. But there was nothing she could do if Allison decided to listen to their adoptive father. Sure, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Vanya would still get to keep her powers. Then again, she felt her sanity slipping more and more the longer she stayed in her faux catatonic state, which would be just as bad.

Vanya couldn’t say she truly knew how comatose or paraplegic patients felt on a daily basis. But she did feel as if she got a small taste of what it was like to be stuck inside yourself without hope of breaking free. There was a part of her that couldn’t help but think of how stupid she was to even think of lying to everyone on such a grand scale. But in the long run, her powers were worth the sacrifice. At least, she thought they should be if Reginald took great pains to conceal it from even Vanya herself.

But that shouldn’t mean she’d go back to her previous, self-imposed condition.

Everyone else in the room stood frozen as soon as they heard Dad’s command. Even Luther, who was closest to Reginald out of all her siblings, looked alarmed.

And that was when Vanya knew that her efforts weren’t wasted. To her siblings, she was poor confused Vanya who just lost her baby and suffered horribly for it. They were happy that she was finally engaging the world around her again. And it was all thanks to Klaus’ insane idea to pass a doll off as her baby. For all the distance Vanya had between each of them, her siblings clearly didn't want Vanya to go back to being nothing more than a living, breathing husk.

Vanya needed to ramp up their sympathies. Reginald Hargreeves told them they were heroes, born to save a world filled with ordinary people just like her.

So Vanya gave one of the best performances of her life.

She furrowed her brow in what looked like confusion and directed her gaze straight at Allison’s eyes.

“Allison, what doll is Dad talking about? Did he buy baby Quinn a doll and want me to be surprised?”

Vanya hoped the sweetness and naivete in her tone of voice wasn’t overdoing it. She prayed to whatever deity or higher power was out there that she came across as something close to an innocent, little girl.

Vanya didn’t have to wait long to find out. 

“Don’t mind Dad, Vanya. It’s nothing. Let’s go up to your room. I’m sure your baby- Quinn, was it? He needs rest.”

To Dad’s consternation, Allison ignored Reginald and lead Vanya away from the infirmary. Confining herself to bed for weeks meant that she had to lean on Allison from the infirmary to her room. Luther didn’t stop them. And the rest of her siblings didn’t let Reginald come close to her.

Vanya could have howled her delight. She had won her first battle with Dad and suddenly realized there was no need to kill him to gain revenge.

There were things more important to Dad than even his own life. The Umbrella Academy was Dad’s masterpiece. Vanya would make sure he’d lose it.

________________

She was punished by being confined to her room. Reginald attempted to take Quinn away. But of course, her siblings interfered. To most of them, she was the damsel in distress and Reginald was edging near the role of the evil villain by persecuting her.

So in an effort to maintain some form of control over the Academy, Hargreeves eventually had to relent. Of course, Reginald Hargreeves retaliated by punishing all her siblings. They were subjected to harsher trainings. And they didn’t even have their thirty minute free time every Saturday noon anymore. Because Reginald chose to cancel that. 

This only made her siblings (except Luther) want time to move faster until the day they could legally move out. Vanya also became closer to them as a result.

Now that she was a mother, she had told them her main goal was to raise Quinn outside the Academy, away from their domineering, emotionless Father. To their credit, they supported her dream of independence.

Her siblings referred to Quinn as their nephew, at least in her presence. They treated her with more kindness in the days of her “insanity” than they ever had in the first seventeen years of their lives. Before, Vanya needed to beg and cajole for an invitation to their adventures to the world outside. Now, at least when it came to anything not mission related, Vanya would automatically be considered a part of their group whether it was a foray to Griddy's or the bowling alley on the rare occasion Reginald wasn’t around.

None of her siblings stopped her from bringing Quinn though they knew how much a teen-aged girl with a life-like baby doll drew attention. 

Vanya herself would have preferred not to bring Quinn. But she was afraid of what would happen if she left the doll alone in the house. What if Reginald somehow came back early and took him away? She wouldn’t have to pretend to be distraught if she lost Quinn. 

During the days of her faux catatonia, she had learned that her actual baby’s remains had been incinerated. Dad wanted to make things as if the baby never existed. 

Quinn was the biggest middle finger to the man that she could get away with as well as her own reminder of what she lost.

While she knew Quinn was just a doll, it felt good to have something to hold on to and something to take care of. It felt lonely to have to pretend to be something she was not. It didn't help she also held more secrets she didn't think she could safely share with anyone. Thus, Vanya found that she wasn’t above using whatever was on hand for comfort. Besides, she was playing a role. And to break character would be dangerous for her.

Allison pretty much handed her a reason to act less conspicuous outside the Academy. Before their first adventure with Quinn, her sister made Vanya promise to treat Quinn like a doll, albeit a really fragile one, while out in public. According to Allison (who truly believed Vanya was under the delusion that Quinn was a real baby), her rumor will protect Quinn from prying eyes (There were journalists and photographers that still stalked the Academy members). But to do that, Allison had to use her powers to make people think that Quinn was a doll. 

To not draw attention, Vanya had to act like she was with a doll instead of a baby. Allison must have thought Vanya reverted to the mind of a five year old. But it was an excuse to partially let down her act while away from the stifling environment of the Academy. So Vanya went along with it. 

Not for the first or last time, she felt guilty for lying to her brothers and sister, especially when she could see them doing their best to cheer her up. But like everything else in her life, she learned to live with it.

Pogo looked at her with even more pity than before. When she was a lot younger, she thought that it was simply concern and genuine fondness in his eyes. Now, Vanya saw the guilt lurking there. She marveled at how she had missed it before. But hindsight was always 20/20 and she now had the benefit of knowing what to look for. 

She truly didn’t know how to deal with the knowledge of Pogo’s complicity. For most of her life, Pogo had been the father figure she had always looked up to. To find out that he had gone along with Reginald’s plan, to discover that all those times she had shared her fears and insecurities with him while he kept quiet about information that would have made a difference to her as she was growing up, it was a betrayal almost on par with Reginald Hargreeves’ enforced abortion and callous disposal of her baby’s remains. 

There was a part of her that wished the world had ended the day her baby died. It seemed so unfair that the world went on just as always when her life and her very soul had just shattered to pieces. 

Vanya didn’t even get a chance to mourn or to say goodbye to her child. Her child didn’t even get a final resting place as its ashes (or whatever remained) was thrown out like common trash.

So here she was. No Five. No baby. And because of the role she chose to play, she won’t have her music either. There was no time to practice when she had a baby to take care of. But she comforted herself with the thought that she was playing the long game. The best time to act was when the enemy least expects it.

Vanya had to continue projecting a small and harmless persona. The only good thing to come out of Reginald’s lies (of her being ordinary) was that everyone believed it. To a degree, even Pogo and Reginald himself believed it.

Vanya was sure that the vast destructive potential of her abilities were always at the back of their minds. But Vanya had grown up being meek and mild. And she had just showed them a seemingly weak-willed girl whose mind shut down at the loss of her child.

They had every reason to underestimate her. And just as she wanted, that was what they did. Of course, it took a momentous amount of effort. It was in fact so easy to just let her powers out and destroy the building that housed her best and worst memories. But she didn't have it in her to really go through with it. 

Vanya may have initially wanted to kill Reginald Hargreeves. But days and days of being alone with her thoughts had her concluding that death would be too good for him. Besides, what would she have left if she ended him so soon?

There were her siblings to consider as well. If she lifted a finger to harm Reginald, they would stop her. Because despite everything, they cared about him and still yearned for his love. And if Vanya were being honest with herself, so did she. 

The only difference was that she knew they’d never get what they wanted from the man. Which was why she could now wished Reginald Hargreeves a long life. It gave her plenty of opportunity to make it miserable.

In any case, she didn’t want to harm her siblings just as much as she didn’t want to inadvertently cause the Umbrella Academy to re-unify. Most of them were on their way out the front door. And for Vanya to act out with her powers would only give Reginald an excuse to keep them here.

While Vanya wanted more time with them, she resolved to be happy for her siblings even if it meant they would all go their separate ways. Seeing them now, she truly wanted them to find some sort of happiness. 

Instead of getting items for themselves, they had begun to request items for her and Quinn. Allison and Klaus in particular, would ask for clothes and shoes they could use to dress up Quinn. Vanya had to admit the little shoes and the mini Umbrella Academy uniform Mom made looked cute on him. Luther and Diego weren’t immune either. They would provide toys for him while Ben would even read a bedtime story for her and the baby.

Their actions only made it that much easier to pretend Quinn was real. When she was alone in her room, she found herself singing him to sleep, almost completely forgetting about the hidden camera. As time passed, she began to perceive Quinn’s voice. His personality became not much different from Five’s own.

Vanya knew that their attempts at bonding with her was a way to assuage their guilt. Whether it was for not being able to help her or for never really being there for her as they were growing up, Vanya didn’t know. Perhaps, it was neither. Perhaps it was both. Perhaps it was more than what she could ever imagine. 

Nevertheless, it didn’t stop Vanya from reaping the benefits of having at least some form of support.

That wasn’t to mean Vanya did all the taking in her new relationship with her siblings. Before they went out for a mission, she and Quinn would wish them luck and bid them farewell. Of course, Reginald would tell everyone to leave immediately. But her siblings now made time for her. Allison and Klaus would even give Quinn a kiss, even though Quinn seemed to not like it. 

If they came back injured, she and Quinn would be there to help Mom treat them. And in cases of serious injuries, she would bring Quinn with her to hold vigil over whichever sibling was in a critical condition.

As the month of their eighteenth birthday came closer, Reginald Hargreeves’ hold on the Academy slipped even further away. He could no longer stop them from doing what they wanted. So despite the missions and trainings, her siblings allotted more time to check up on her. And all but Luther were definitely set on leaving the house and the Umbrella Academy for good. 

If Vanya hadn’t felt so guilty for deceiving them and causing them worry, she would be crowing at this turn of events. Because the disbandment of the Academy was the best revenge she could ever hope for.

Reginald Hargreeves might not have let it show. But in the privacy of his office, he was bothered by the loss of control he once had over the remaining members.

All the while, under the guise of a mother wanting to raise a child outside the Academy, she worked on getting her diploma, a job and a new place to stay. All with her siblings’ (except Luther’s) support. She didn’t hold it against Luther though. Of all her siblings, he was the one who believed in the Academy’s mission. And he misguidedly thought he was doing his part to save the world by staying.

Vanya could only hope he would change his mind and go with Allison. She knew there was something between them. And had she been in Luther’s place, she would forsake the Academy (even the world, for that matter) to be with the one she loved.

But that was in the past. After all, Five wasn’t here. All that was left was to move forward. 

Vanya already planned the date of her departure.

Tragically, the day was moved up on the day of the Academy’s most disastrous mission. It cost Ben his life. 

Ben’s death all but ensured the Academy’s disbandment. It also erased the joy she had longed for at the thought of Reginald’s life’s work being broken almost beyond repair.

Her brother didn’t deserve to die. In fact, he had everything to live for. When once she and Quinn would visit his room in hopes of hearing him read a story for them, now they avoided it like the plague. It hurt too much to open it to find the room become nothing more than a shrine to someone who wasn’t coming back. Vanya found herself unable to stay at the Academy any longer. 

Not even the thought of making the old man suffer could get her to continue living in the Academy. Besides, she had learned enough from the Umbrella Academy.

Whenever Mom was asked what she thought of Dad, Grace would list down Reginald’s accomplishments such as how he was a great inventor and Olympic gold medalist. Over time, Vanya noted that none of those accomplishments necessarily made him a good person and human being. It was only later when she realized (through her powers) that this was because he wasn’t human in every sense of the word.

A small amount of vindication came with that discovery. Because here was proof. It was never that she and her siblings weren’t good enough. Dad never loved them because he truly didn’t know how to love.

Vanya didn’t see any good reason to use her newfound knowledge at this point in time. Instead, she decided to file it away for if or when Reginald found a way to bring the Academy back together again.

But as for now, the Umbrella Academy was done. She had all her ducks in a row and was more than ready to take off. And to varying degrees, the same went for most of her remaining siblings.

After the funeral, Vanya took Quinn and her violin to her new home. She hadn’t played the violin since the abortion. But she couldn’t bring herself to abandon it altogether. Diego had already helped her move most of her things the day before. So she had no reason to ever go back to the Academy.

Diego had not been shy in letting her know what he thought of her new apartment. It was small and could easily be described as dingy. 

What made matters worse was when he found out it was in a crime-ridden neighborhood. It hadn’t seemed so bad in the daylight hours when he helped her move most of her things. But the evening he escorted her and Quinn to their new home, the risks involved in living in this new environment became far too obvious.

But Vanya had her reasons for selecting this area. So she remained firm despite Diego’s concern. Knowing full well that Diego could sympathize with her preferring to stay there instead of going back to the Academy, Vanya pretty much used her tears against him until he relented. But only after she promised to get strong locks on her windows and front door.

_______

As Vanya suspected, finding predators was not much of a challenge when you’re a young woman living in a place even the police hesitated to patrol. 

Her second victim was a man who tried to abduct her at gunpoint as she was walking home from a late shift at Griddy's. She remembered thinking of how Quinn would be so scared being alone in a dark room at night. 

Sometimes, Vanya had to remind herself that Quinn was just a doll. The Quinn she knew was all in her head. But the mind had a curious way of battling loneliness. So even if there were no cameras in her new home, she still treated Quinn like her baby. She washed and changed his clothes. She put him in his crib. She sang to him, played her violin for him and even read him Ben’s copy of Grimm’s Fairy Tales to lull the both of them to sleep. Treating Quinn like her actual child had become so ingrained that it now felt uncomfortable to slide off.

Besides, Pogo came by once in a while to hand deliver her medication. but it was always a clandestine affair given how Pogo was one of a kind and no one outside the Academy could really wrap their heads around Pogo’s existence. Of course, he’d pass his visit off as checking up on her. But Vanya knew he was just going to report her “progress” to Reginald. There was a part of her that missed her adoration of Pogo. But then she’d remember whose side Pogo was on. And she’d just smile even brighter and make small talk with her once beloved friend all the while seething inside at his utter betrayal.

Pogo wanted her to come home. She supposed that was because he thought her to be a helpless girl living in poverty in a neighborhood that didn’t need statistics reports for people to believe its above average crime rates. But unlike her approach with Diego, she was dry eyed when she told Pogo she’d rather take her chances raising Quinn here than spending another moment under the same roof as Reginald Hargreeves. 

Again, she saw the flash of pity as she mentioned Quinn. When Pogo tried the age-old defense of Reginald Hargreeves loving her “in his own way,” she wanted to laugh in his face.

Instead, she took Quinn from his seat and asked Pogo if he wanted to hold her baby. 

_I hope you drown in your guilt. You stood by and let him do whatever he wanted to us._

Vanya didn’t expect that thought to flash through her mind. But it was true. Good thing she had long mastered the art of smiling even when under emotional turmoil.

She watched Pogo as he left her apartment. There was a hunch in his shoulder more indicative of an emotional rather than physical weight. And she couldn’t help but smirk in slight satisfaction.

Pogo wasn’t her sole visitor.

Klaus had a habit of crashing on her couch unannounced. It happened often enough that he became Quinn’s unofficial babysitter when she was out. Vanya still couldn’t bring herself to tell him or the others the truth. Partly because she didn’t want her siblings to find out she’d been lying to them and partly because she didn’t want her secret making its way back to Reginald Hargreeves and raising all sorts of questions.

Her hearing alerted her to the van cruising nearby, soon reaching her and slowing down to her pace. As soon as she turned to look at the driver, he pulled out his gun and motioned for her to get in.

Not unlike her first kill, he was a man with an ordinary face. Someone who wouldn’t stand out in a crowd. And someone who got his kicks out of the pain and fear of his victims. She imagined he liked the power of being able to decide another person’s fate. He chose his victims based on whether they appeared like they could put up a fight.

And Vanya who was young, thin and petite didn’t look like the type to fight back, which just made him a coward as well.

Of course, his assessment was so very wrong. He learned of it as soon as he drove her to a secluded location and discovered his head somehow repeatedly hitting the steering wheel until he passed out.

Long story short, Vanya got to know a lot about her second victim. Through him, she also learned how to use her powers to draw out a person’s pain without immediately killing him.

She wasn’t surprised to learn that he had raped, tortured and killed others before. He even told her about the trophies he kept and where to find them. But it was more in hopes of getting her to stop hurting him. Vanya briefly wondered if he was now able to place himself in his victims’ shoes. But she didn’t think so. It was a good thing she was off the next day because it took some time to get more information out of him.

By the time her victim started lying again and babbling nonesense, she figured that he must have run out of truths to share. Vanya took that as her signal to end their association.

When it was all done, she sent what remained of his body back to his home. She disposed his van elsewhere and called the local crime stoppers for an anonymous tip. She gave them where to find the serial killer responsible for the murder and disappearance of countless numbers of girls. 

Vanya took care to ensure the sound that carried over the payphone made her voice unrecognizable. She also made it clear that the reward money was to be donated to the local women’s shelter.

That was how the Samaritan was born. 

To the police and the public, the Samaritan was a polarizing figure. To some, he (the newspapers decided to just go with the male pronoun) was at best a vigilante operating out of bounds from the law or at worst a killer no better than the ones he hunted. To others, he was some sort of savior that doled out swift and fair justice. After all, why subject the victim’s family to a lengthy trial (where the killer might even get away with it on some technicality or perhaps get paroled long before he served his actual sentence) when you have someone who quickly served as judge, jury and executioner to spare them the long wait for justice.

Vanya found a sort of calling in ridding the streets of these monsters. There was a sense of accomplishment in fulfilling her mission. A part of her felt so good about it that she was able to play the violin again. Quinn loved listening to her, much like Five did as he wrote some obscure formula on one of his notebooks. So she played for Quinn every chance she got.

As time passed, Vanya certainly could have moved out of her shady neighborhood. She could have also gotten a better paying job with better hours than working as a waitress at Griddy's. But both attracted the sort of prey she was looking for. 

Besides, she wasn’t really concerned with money. Vanya wasn’t in debt. And her baby didn’t need food, education or actual babysitting though she did sometimes “hire” Klaus in an attempt to get him to stay over instead of going off somewhere in search of his next high. She wasn’t always successful in that regard though. And it hurt to know that Klaus would only use the money to buy drugs. 

Vanya supplemented her income by working part time at a maid and cleaning service when she didn’t make enough as a waitress to pay for her rent. That didn’t happen often. Apparently, she was popular at Griddys (among other reasons).

Despite the discomfort, she made it a point to wear makeup that went well with her pink Griddys uniform. There was something about the innocent look she exuded that made her adorable with the elderly customers, the middle aged workers and young children all at once. Albeit for probably completely different reasons.

What really made her Griddy’s job important was how it made her a target of more than a few stalkers. Of course, none of them remained stalkers for long. At least, not after Vanya was permanently through with them. In their own way, they had their uses. And in Vanya's mind, becoming the test cases for the use of her powers was pretty important work. 

She could now cause minor heart attacks instead of accidentally making dents on her victims’ bodies. Getting lightning to strike her targets was still a work in progress. But at least now, it struck at their general direction.

Unfortunately, working at Griddy’s also gave her unwanted attention. She had guys hit on her constantly. To Vanya’s slight disappointment, they weren’t irredeemable enough to warrant her preferred method of retaliation. Most of them were just annoying instead of being dangerous.

Vanya would have been lying if she said she never thought about what it would have been like to live a normal life. Not all the men who hit on her were creeps. Some were actually decent people she would have probably been friends with.

But she had made her choices long ago. If she hadn’t come clean to her siblings, the very people she would actually give her life for, there was no way she’d share any part of her life or the truth of her current living arrangements with a total stranger.

Besides, none of them actually interested her. Perhaps she exhausted all her romantic and sexual attraction on Five. In the dark of night, she still thought about him as she touched herself beneath the mountain of blankets she covered herself with to ensure Quinn didn’t get any ideas of what she was actually doing. 

By now, she had long accepted that Five was either dead or unable to come back. Perhaps he even chose not to return. Her current life didn’t allow her to hold out much hope. After all, Five didn’t have much to come back to. She was too twisted and broken to still be the Vanya he knew and loved. 

She was a different creature now. And she couldn’t go back even if she wanted to. That was completely beyond the scope of Vanya’s powers. Besides, Vanya had long accepted that she’d probably live the rest of her life alone with only Quinn for company. She and the rest of her siblings coped with their trauma in different ways. And though they still kept in touch, none of them could ever take it upon themselves to reach out and ask the others for help. It wasn’t as if they could help each other. They didn’t even know how to help themselves, after all.

Whenever feeling sorry for herself became too much, Vanya did volunteer work at various shelters. It didn’t matter much if they were homeless shelters, women’s shelters or children’s shelters. Her only criteria was that it was a place she could do something to make her feel less like a deplorable human being.

Besides, she didn’t have enough targets. Living in a dangerous neighborhood and working at Griddy’s didn’t get her as much as she would have wanted. So she decided to be proactive and hunt for them.

The newspaper wasn’t a very valuable source of information. At least, not the type she was looking for. It depended on what the media thought was important such as the assassination of some politician or a story unusual enough to make people pick up the paper and generate sales. One paper in particular reported of a break-in at a nearby department store. The only item stolen was the top half of a mannequin (along with whatever said mannequin was wearing). Hence, Vanya only read the paper to get an idea of what was happening in the city and around the world.

For potential victims, she found word of mouth worked best. The people who gained some sort of sanctuary from the shelters had much to tell her. About violent men who systematically break women down and hurt them for their own amusement. Of parents that habitually mistreat and allow others to hurt their own children. About unnamed men who would simply take people off the streets only for those same kidnapped victims to turn up dead soon after.

Vanya certainly was never bored. When she wasn’t working, taking care of Quinn and volunteering, she was hunting those people. If she was lucky enough to find her targets, she made it a point to show them how it felt to have their lives be out of their hands.

If they were wanted by the police, she’d make sure they were found, whatever was left of them. Vanya never took the reward money offered for info that lead to her victims’ capture. Mostly because they were too dead to be arrested by the time the police got to them. And also because she didn’t want to give the police any clue that could lead back to her.

No, Vanya wouldn’t take the reward money even if it was offered to her. But she did consider her victims’ money fair game. She wasn’t above taking the cash from their wallets. It was a sad state of affairs to find out that most of the time, she ended up with more than enough money to cover her rent. While not all were successful in their chosen fields, enough of her victims blended in and got along well enough with the population to be generally considered as doing well for themselves.

But as far as she was concerned, her victims weren’t human beings and didn’t deserve to be treated as such. Besides, the cost of living was on the rise. And it was better to have something stashed for a rainy day.

Vanya was careful not to immediately deposit the amounts she took from individual victims. Perhaps, she was just being paranoid. But she preferred amassing cash until it reached an arbitrary round number before going to the bank for a deposit.

As she was on her way one morning, she happened to pass by a homeless man in the alley. Vanya couldn’t tell how old he was. But his beard and general disheveled appearance made him look a lot older than her. Then again, living on the streets of Vanya’s neighborhood would be enough to physically age a person before their time.

The homeless were a dime a dozen in this area. And she had lived there long enough to cease being bothered by how many there were or how bad their conditions were.

Usually, she would just be on her way. But the bald mannequin beside the man had her going back to take a second look. Vanya didn’t know if it was just some sort of weird coincidence. But she was positive the mannequin was the one stolen from the department store. The only item taken from the store.

The homeless man was staring off into space and didn’t seem to notice her. And she wondered what sort of hell he was reliving in his mind.

He was filthy and appeared intoxicated. In fact, the mannequin looked to be the only clean item in his possession. And suddenly, she felt some sort of kinship for this man. He was all alone in this world. And if he was the one who broke into the department store, he probably took the mannequin more for companionship than for any sick fetish.

She dropped five ten-dollar bills in front of him and slowly went her own way.

Vanya pointedly didn’t look back.


	3. Chapter 3

Vanya never saw the homeless man or his mannequin again. Strangely enough, she was disappointed. Perhaps, more than disappointed.

In hindsight, there was comfort in knowing she wasn’t alone. That someone shared her particular method of coping with the ache of loneliness. But who was she kidding? Even if she did find that man again, it wasn’t as if they would become best friends for life. It wasn’t as if she could tell him everything about herself.

Just as she couldn’t tell her siblings all her secrets. Of how she would lock her bedroom door and windows each night for fear of someone (Reginald) coming in and doing something to her while she slept. How she did in fact know what happened to her actual baby and mourned its loss. How she both missed and resented Five for his absence. How a part of her wants to kill their adoptive father even though she never could get herself to actually do it. And most of all, how she coped with all of this by finding and hunting down killers.

Despite growing up under the same roof and under the tutelage of a creature in the form of a man they called father, Vanya couldn’t begin to unravel every layer of deceit she’d woven for herself starting from the day she woke up to find her baby gone.

So she focused on what she could do. Vanya looked for more targets. More often than not, it was difficult. Waiting for killers and monsters (she wasn’t particular about whether they were the literal or metaphorical kind) to come to her wasn’t enough. In fact, it was only by a stroke of luck (good or bad depending on how one looked at it) that she was able to attract as many as she did as she was starting out. It didn’t really speak well of human nature that Vanya (who went out of her way to look weak and helpless when walking around late at night) encountered more people out to take advantage of her than those wanting to help.

The annoying part was that not all the people who meant her harm was her particular brand of victims. So on more than one occasion, she had allowed the kid holding her at knifepoint to abscond with her purse (she didn’t put much money in it anyway and since she was out hunting, she didn’t bother to leave any IDs that lead back to her). After doing the math and realizing she encountered more petty thieves than serial killers and would-be rapists, Vanya had to change her strategy. This also happened to be the period the police noticed a lull in the Samaritan’s activities.

Vanya very much had the drive to kill. But she of all people knew there was a fine line that separated her from the ones she hunted. Control was very much a key factor to her survival. Being the master of her powers and impulses kept her from discovery and free to pursue her activities.

While she was confident no prison could ever hold her, Vanya knew that it would be hard to hunt on the run, with people recognizing her and reporting her to the authorities. For once, being or rather seeming ordinary was her greatest weapon. Reginald hadn’t contacted her since she left the Academy which sort of gave her some sense of security (false or otherwise, she would only find out in the future) and leading her to believe he didn’t suspect a thing about her discovery of her powers. 

Vanya wondered if the police ever consulted him in regards to Samaritan’s exploits. The police knew Samaritan had powers and Reginald was an expert. 

But even if they did, Reginald didn’t seem interested. And that left Vanya feeling disappointed for some reason. For a mad moment, she wanted to march to the manor and show him what she could do and what she had become. Of course, she didn’t.

Instead, she comforted herself in having her freedom. If her adoptive father ever did come out of his house to confront her after learning the truth, she honestly didn’t know if she’d be willing to do everything to continue her activities. Would she do away with him, once and for all? Vanya honestly couldn’t say.

But reflecting on it wasn’t going to lead her anywhere. So she decided to concentrate on increasing her efforts in finding targets. That at least was something she had control over. She knew they were out there by the simple fact that the shelters never ran out of occupants. Of course, Vanya knew it would be naive of her to think that serial killers and rapists were the only problems the world and humanity as a whole had to contend with. 

But living her life and listening to the stories from the shelter taught her that desperation and suffering often attracted the wrong sort of attention. Sure, there were people who came to answer a call for help. But there were also those who came to take advantage of that obvious sign of vulnerability.

Diego’s brief stint at the police academy gave him access to case studies, some of which he shared with Vanya. It honestly disgusted Vanya that it wasn’t unheard of for public kidnappings or disappearance cases to get its share of fraudsters. People seeking to make money off of the family’s desperation. Knowing the victim’s family would do anything to save their missing loved one, some have conned families by pretending to be the kidnappers while others would reach out to the family in the guise of some form of informant that could help them reunite with their missing person albeit for a hefty price. Those people earned her ire almost as much as the actual kidnapper themselves.

So far, she’d followed one kidnapping case and caught up with the fraudsters before the police did. The beauty of being a lone individual was that it was faster and easier for her to make decisions and act than an organization that needed to ensure proper procedures were in place and chains of commands were followed. 

After getting the truth out of the conmen, Vanya briefly toyed with the idea of letting the cops deal with them as they cowered and pissed themselves. But then she remembered several cases where such conmen got less than ten years in jail for putting the family through the unnecessary trauma. So she made an example of them.

But made sure the money they took got back to the grieving family.

There were different kinds of killers. The usual murderers were pretty easy to find because they were the ones who knew their victims. It was certainly a sad state of affairs to find out that more often than not, the people with the most reason to kill you or the ones who benefit most from your death are the people closest to you.

Vanya had dispatched more than one spouse or parent who claimed to have lost their minds by “accidentally” hitting their wives or “accidentally” poisoning their husbands or “accidentally” shaking their babies. If their actions weren’t enough to make her totally lose sympathy for them, their usual lack of remorse did it.

Sure, they would tell her they regretted their actions. But it sounded to her that they were really just sorry to get caught and face the music.

Because if there’s one thing her victims had in common, it was that they always blamed things or people other than themselves for their actions. Never once did they truly consider that they were the author of their own misfortune. By now, she’s heard the same refrain in almost every confession that she no longer felt angry. She had realized that anger towards people who would never change their behavior was a waste of time. Vanya was now more likely to just roll her eyes before dispatching them.

If anything, she came out of the experience having greater respect and sympathy for the cops that had to sit through the bullshit and be forced to restrain themselves from strangling these assholes. Unlike Vanya who could pretty much use pain to wrest the truth (or at least most of the truth from the compulsive liars) from her targets, the police had to be more creative with their interrogation techniques and control themselves all while their suspects stayed quiet and sat smug with the assurance that they’d be safe and had a chance at getting away with murder.

Then there were the rarer prey. The ones who weren’t motivated by money or passion. The ones who killed to fill some deep and dark hunger that made them unable to stop the moment they’ve had a taste of their first kill. It was harder to track them down because they didn’t necessarily have any personal connection to their victims. At best, their victims were passing acquaintances. At worst, the people they killed simply happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Vanya had just as little respect for the serial killers as she did for the garden variety murderers. But given how hard they were to track down and how closing in on them usually depended on giving them more opportunities to kill, in the hopes they eventually get cocky and sloppy, it did give Vanya no small ounce of satisfaction to make them suffer before they died. 

Unfortunately, that particular delicacy only happened once in a blue moon. Vanya didn’t have the police’s resources. And serial killers, at least the smart ones, knew how to blend in. For all of Vanya’s vast abilities, immediately distinguishing a normal person from a serial killer was a skill set beyond her means.

So when one killer taunted police by leaving recorded messages and when the police chose to share it on the local news, Vanya jumped at the chance to try to track him down.

Vanya may not be able to distinguish an innocent man from a guilty one just by their looks alone. But sound was a close and intimate friend. To her, even identical twins had a slight difference she could hone in on to identify one voice from the other.

The latest victim was a teenage girl who had been reported missing once her parents realized she hadn’t come home from school. Diego had told Vanya that the police would usually want the parents to wait 48 hours before filing a missing person’s report as they’ve encountered dozens of cases of teenagers simply running away from home. But in this particular instance, several teenaged girls had gone missing and turned up dead days later. Their bodies dumped like trash.

So the police wasted no time looking for her. The girl’s body was found a few blocks away from Vanya’s apartment. 

Once the police cleared the site, people began to leave candles and stuffed toys. 

Vanya didn’t like how uncomfortable it made her feel. Because it reminded her of her own baby without a final resting place for anyone (not even her) to leave flowers or toys to signify that it ever existed.

That didn’t stop her from attending a candle-light vigil held in the girl’s honor. 

If Vanya was being honest, she only went there in the hopes that the killer would come. Diego had told her it wasn’t unheard of. That explained the presence of numerous officers and Diego himself in the vicinity.

Her brother had enrolled at the police academy as soon as he left the manor. Unfortunately, years under Reginald Hargreeves’ brand of leadership left Diego unreceptive (some may even say, disrespectful) of all forms of authority. He was expelled in less than a year.

Diego now lived at a local gym’s boiler room. He paid for living expenses by fighting matches which Vanya suspected were illegal. But despite its quasi-legal status that involved a lot of money, it seemed that Vanya earned more as a waitress than Diego did as a fighter.

But then again, money never really interested Diego. To him, it was simply a necessity of modern life that ensured he had a roof over his head and his own mode of transportation. While Vanya hunted serial abusers, rapists and abusers after they’ve done their deed, Diego wanted to be there to stop the criminals before or at least during their execution of their crimes.

If Vanya didn’t know of his utter displeasure at Reginald Hargreeves, she would think Diego would have been better off staying at the Academy. At least, that way he and Luther could have backed each other up (on the rare occasions they weren’t at each other’s throats).

She gave Diego a little wave that he returned before he went back to watching out for the killer. He was doing his vigil at the comfort of his car.

Vanya kept her ears open in hopes of her hearing anyone matching the voice of the killer. But in the end, the killer either didn’t speak up or didn’t attend. Around the same time, Diego caught something in his police scanner and left to catch criminals red-handed.

Not wanting to give up too soon, even as the crowd was in the process of dispersing, Vanya decided to focus on heartbeats instead. She knew it was a long shot. A faster or slower heart rate didn’t necessarily mean anything.

But in her frustration at the feeling of helplessness pervading her, she was willing to try anything no matter how fruitless it seemed. At least, if she was doing something, she’d feel like she was actually of some use.

As expected, it didn’t help her find the serial killer. But something unusual did happen. Vanya detected the sudden appearance of a new heartbeat. It wasn’t someone simply walking towards them. It was more of someone suddenly transported into their location out of thin air. Like if someone jumped through space and time.

Vanya quickly locked into that heartbeat and made her way to its direction.

To her disappointment, it wasn’t Five. Instead, she found a man in a business suit, carrying a briefcase with his right hand.

If asked, Vanya wouldn’t immediately be able to say how she could suddenly conclude it wasn’t Five. If he truly time traveled, he could have been older or younger than her. Time could have totally changed his physical appearance. And if Dad’s explanations were to be trusted, time travel could have totally messed with Five’s mind and thought processes.

In a world where people like Vanya existed, it wouldn’t be unheard of for Vanya to pass Five on the streets without even recognizing him. It had been so long after all.

But her instincts told her it wasn’t Five.

That left her to wonder who this person was. How was he able to teleport? As far as Vanya knew, she and her siblings were the only ones with such powers. Reginald had tried to find the 36 other children born on the 1st of October 1989. But he was unsuccessful. And from what she heard of his and Pogo’s conversations, those children were probably dead given how there wasn’t even a whisper of other children with extraordinary abilities.

So who was this person? If he had similar abilities to Five’s, was it possible he knew Five? Or even just knew of him?

Vanya acknowledged it was a stretch. But she wasn’t opposed to finding out if her theory was correct. So she stalked the man’s every move as he made his way through the dispersing crowd. 

She treated him as she did her other targets, studying him before deciding on how to approach him. But unlike the others, she was well aware that this particular prey could disappear on her at any moment. 

Vanya knew that she had to make a move soon or risk losing her only possible lead to Five. But her sense of caution kicked in. There were far too many unknowns regarding this man. What was he doing here? What did he want? And what exactly was he capable of?

They were currently out in the open. And there were witnesses abound. 

On the other hand, she needed to know what happened to Five. But as she was closing in on the man in the business suit, he bumped into another man, one Vanya noticed to have attended the vigil. 

On the surface, it looked like an accident. Two people not really paying attention to where they were going. But Vanya registered that the man she was stalking did it on purpose. 

She didn’t have much time to ponder on it though because the man in the business suit quickened his pace away from the crowd. Vanya, with her short legs (she never did grow any taller since she left the Academy), had to make an effort to keep up.

Thankfully, he halted as soon as he came to a deserted alley. Vanya wasn’t far behind. By then, she was anxious to reach him. Her instincts were telling her that he was about to disappear soon. 

Why she would think that when the man gave no indication he was going anywhere was beyond her. In fact, her target was actually making a move to open his briefcase. 

That was when a bizarre set of circumstances happened.

Vanya heard a scream which caused her to turn to its direction. She found the man her target bumped into on the ground and unresponsive. At around the same time, she registered a flash of light at the corner of her eye. 

In a split second, she realized it came from her target’s direction. But when she managed to turn her head back to her prey, he was gone. So was the man on the ground.

His body was still there for everyone to see. But judging from the lack of heartbeat, he was dead. She had unwittingly witnessed an assassination.

In hopes that her target had just teleported away from her vicinity, Vanya increased the radius that her power currently covered. She tried to listen for that distinct heartbeat. But it wasn’t anywhere within her hearing range. 

Not even Five could jump that far.

She was pretty sure that the briefcase had something to do with the man’s disappearance. If so, there was technology out there that mimicked Five’s powers. 

Five had told her once of how spatial and time jumps were related. If one thing was possible, then the other couldn’t be far behind. That was the basis of his obsession with time travel in the first place.

Vanya didn’t like this feeling of hope blooming in her chest. But she couldn’t help but wonder if she found her first clue to seeing Five again.

If that briefcase can take her anywhere on earth, could it also take her any place in time? She hoped so. 

Of course, the only way to truly find out was to get her hands on that briefcase. She didn’t know how. But Vanya swore she’d find a way to acquire it.  
_______________________

That turned out to be easier said than done. Vanya didn’t even know how to begin tracking down a briefcase that could enable its user to travel through space and possibly time. 

She wished Five or any of her siblings were here. But Five was the reason she started this project in the first place. And she didn’t want to see the look on any of her siblings faces if she actually gave in to the madness of sharing her theory of a teleporting, time traveling assassin.

They already thought she was crazy with her treating Quinn like an actual baby. If she shared this new development, they might come together to stage some sort of intervention that ended with her staying as a patient in the psychiatric ward. So she concluded that telling her remaining siblings was out of the question. Besides, her siblings were living their own lives. Vanya doubted they would appreciate her interrupting their normal (or almost normal) lives with weirdness they’d be quick to assume was all in her head.

Allison was a movie star now and living her dreams in LA. Of everyone, Allison would be the one most likely to have her committed to a mental institution. Not because of any malice. Just that Allison had the means to pay for what she would think as Vanya’s necessary medical expenses. 

Last time Vanya talked to her on the phone, Allison revealed that she was actually paying for Klaus’ rehab even though neither of them believed Klaus would actually stay sober once he got out.

Due to his obsession with his own brand of vigilantism, Diego rarely visited Vanya nowadays. At least that was what Diego told her. But Vanya suspected he threw himself at his “work” more to see Eudora Patch. She had met the newly minted detective years ago when Diego was still at the police academy. Vanya recalled that they had been an item then. But while Diego had a hard time fitting in, Patch was well-liked and respected by her peers and superiors. 

Vanya never did know the exact reason why they broke up. But she suspected it had to do with Diego’s willingness to cut through bureaucratic red tape and police procedures to catch the bad guys. And Patch was a lot more by the book.

As for Luther, last she heard was that Dad sent him to the moon for some mission or other. And she didn’t like it. Because it sounded to her like Luther was sent there for no reason. Pogo couldn’t even give her a specific time for when Luther would be coming back. And that didn’t sit well with Vanya. 

Reginald Hargreeves was a control freak who valued the Umbrella Academy above all else. Why would he let the sole remaining member go off on a solo mission in a place as far away from him as possible and with no set end date?

For Luther’s sake, she hoped their adoptive father had finally decided to cede some of that control. But Vanya suspected that even Reginald accepted the dissolution of the Academy (or at least as close to it as he would ever come). Luther was the only one who believed in the Academy and was only sent to the moon just to keep up the illusion that it was still an active crime-stopping organization.

Had she been a braver person or a more caring sister, she would have just told Luther the truth. But what was the point in speaking to a zealot? Luther wouldn’t believe her for the simple fact that all the things he had endured and sacrificed for the Academy’s sake would have been for nothing if he took what she said as truth. Besides, with Allison newly married to another man, Vanya assumed Luther preferred to stay as far away as possible.

So she found herself poring over history books and encyclopedias. When none proved helpful, she resorted to books that others would deem either pseudoscience or tabload material. Unfortunately,they weren’t much help either. 

With no other leads, Vanya ended up putting this project on the back burner.  
______________________

So she continued with her usual operation. Vanya worked her shifts at Griddy’s, volunteered at the shelters and hunted for targets.

Most of her victims didn’t have a reward money put up for their capture. After all, not all of her victims were serial killers or kidnappers. A good chunk of them were domestic abusers, who rarely end up in jail because their partners either don’t press charges or withdraw it only for the cycle of beatings and emotional torture to begin again. 

With all her activities, companionship was the furthest thing from Vanya’s mind. She was busy. And she really didn’t need the complication of romantic entanglements. Besides, her work on killers and scum left her with the lowest impression of human nature in general.

Despite this, Vanya would have been lying if she said she never considered falling in love again. A part of her missed the comfort of a warm body next to hers. She remembered Five holding her through the night until way into the early morning.

It was certainly pleasant to feel that someone was looking out for your interest. To not feel completely alone.

But then she remembered all the battered women she encountered in the shelter and all the children pretty much abandoned by their own parents. While Vanya knew she could defend herself from any physical attacks, what those women and children went through took more than just time to heal. Sure, they had wounds, bruises and broken bones. It wouldn’t be inaccurate to say that blood was spilled. 

Those didn’t scare Vanya as much as the thought that she was staring at the result of putting one’s love and trust in someone. Only for that person to break it almost beyond repair. 

Vanya certainly didn’t care to experience that. Not ever again.

______________________

There was a new regular at Griddys. The moment he first walked in, it seemed everyone from the servers to the patrons turned to look at him. It wasn’t every day a dark-haired stranger wearing what appeared to be an expensive, custom-made suit walked in their humble donut shop. Of course, everyone instantly went back to what they were doing as soon as a split second had elapsed. Something about this stranger made people not want to be caught staring. Vanya included.

For the life of her, the man reminded her of someone. But she just couldn’t put her finger on it. 

Vanya didn’t have much time to dwell on it though. Because the shop was full of customers and she was too busy taking orders. She did have time to note that Agnes (who was much closer to his seat) had already approached him to take his order.

Hours later, Agnes would tell Vanya about her hope that Mr Expensive Suit never darkened Griddy’s doors again. Because while he looked sophisticated and handsome with his tailored suits and his hair slicked back in what appeared to be pomade, he was a condescending asshole. To Vanya’s shock, Agnes actually used the “A” word. 

Mr Suit had taken a window seat and continued staring out the window even when Agnes tried to call his attention. Instead of giving Agnes the courtesy of facing her, he gave her fifty dollars with the instruction to get him a whole pot full of freshly brewed black coffee and to only come near his table when the carafe was empty.

What’s even worse was that Mr Suit didn’t bother modulating his voice when he commented on how Griddy’s was such a shithole. Had Agnes been any less of a professional, she would have spat in his coffee.

Contrary to Agnes’ wishes, Mr Suit came every day. But it appeared that he didn’t work regular hours (if he worked at all) because he came at different times of the day. One day, he’d be at Griddy’s as soon as it opened. Another day, he would arrive in the afternoon. And there were other days when he would come in late at night. 

But no matter the time of day, he would always look well put together in his suit. He would always sit in the same spot (if someone was already sitting there, he would somehow make that patron switch seats). He would always order a full pot of coffee and consume it. 

Had Mr Expensive Suit been nicer, he would have been a favored regular. Unfortunately, Vanya had to agree with Agnes’ assessment. Mr Suit had an attitude problem. He never faced the servers when making an order. He was either looking out the window or was busying himself by writing something on his notebook. All the time, his acted as if he didn’t want to be at Griddy’s even though no one had dragged him there or forced him to stay put.

In the grand scheme of things, Mr Suit was nothing to Vanya. But everything about him bothered her. She knew she wasn’t imagining things when she noticed he seemed to be staring at her during the times he thought she wasn’t looking. And for some reason, he would always be at Griddy’s during her shifts. 

Under normal circumstances, she would be elated at having a new potential stalker to dispatch. 

But contrary to everything she knew about herself, she was bothered by how much she liked seeing him almost everyday and how much she enjoyed the feel of his eyes roaming her body even though he barely spoke two words to her.

Mr Suit was always the last customer left on her night shift. For someone who seemed to watch her every move, he never did anything when they were alone together. He neither approached her or initiated a conversation with her.

Their only interaction either came with a coffee pot or an announcement that the shop would be closing soon. 

Perhaps it had just been so long since she had companionship other than Quinn. 

She had grown to love her doll baby, seen Quinn as more than a prop to help make her act convincing. But for all that, Quinn wasn’t a fellow human being. As much as she needed Quinn to keep herself sane, Quinn didn’t really need her. He could continue to exist with or without her. Any idea that came from Quinn was something she ultimately knew came from her. Every word she imagined baby Quinn speaking was really just her talking to herself.

Vanya knew that. And that’s why Quinn wasn’t going to be enough for her.

Despite all the cautionary tales and horror stories, Vanya still wanted love and romance. She wanted someone who needed her just as much. She wanted someone to care for, someone who was willing to be there, someone who really saw her.

Looking at Mr Suit as he bent over his notes, Vanya wondered if he could be that someone. But she dismissed it as ridiculous as soon as she thought of it. She had once thought that someone would be Five. But he was nowhere in sight, most likely stuck or chose to stay at another time. 

If only she had that briefcase at her disposal. Then, she could find Five and know for sure. Hit him, scream at him, let him know that she lost his baby. Maybe he would blame her for that. Or maybe he would mourn with her. But either way, at least there would be someone else to share this sense of loss.

To her disappointment, she was no closer to finding that mysterious assassin or his time machine of a briefcase. So she was stuck wondering what really became of Five. 

Sometimes, she wondered if her desire to take out as many bad guys was as much a way to distract her from her pain as it is a way to release her anger towards her adoptive father on people that reminded her of him. While most of the rapists, murderers, stalkers, pedophiles and kidnappers held no resemblance to Reginald Hargreeves in appearance or mannerisms, they all took something away from their victims without asking. For reasons that only made sense to these people, they thought they were entitled to do whatever they wanted regardless of who they hurt in the process.

And because they believed that they did nothing wrong, none of them ever really felt the least bit sorry. Or at least, they didn’t feel sorry enough not to continue doing what they’ve already done.

Vanya supposed there was some truth to that realization. Every one of her victims reminded her of Reginald Hargreeves in a certain way. So every time she killed them, it was like killing the man himself. It’s very well possible that this was one of the pleasures she derived from the kill. 

By now, she had already stopped counting the number of people she’s killed. At a certain point, her victims had all blurred together. Each one a waste of breath. Each one utterly without remorse for the pain and harm they’ve caused other people.

The part she liked most was seeing the look in their eyes as they finally realized they were dying. As if they were so surprised that death could actually overtake them. Clearly, none of them believed in karma or what happened to those that live by the sword. 

Vanya briefly wondered if Reginald Hargreeves would react the same way as life slowly ebbed from his body. 

Unlike her reactions to her victims’ deaths, the thought of a dying Reginald Hargreeves gave her no pleasure. Deep down, she knew she could never kill him. At least, not intentionally in the context of premeditated murder. 

Over the years, she had made many excuses as to why she hadn’t just caused the whole Academy to crumble and fall down on his head. Vanya had told herself she’d much rather see Reginald suffer, seeing how the Umbrella Academy was bereft of students. How he failed to attain the perfect soldiers that would save the world, whatever that meant. How everything he had done was ultimately for nothing.

But the truth was that she still wanted his approval even after all this time and after everything he had done. By now, Vanya knew better. Reginald Hargreeves would never truly see her as anything more than a threat to be contained. That didn’t stop her from wanting what she couldn’t have.

And that only made her angry, knowing she still wanted something from the man that took her baby away from her. Angry enough to start the cycle of finding a new quarry to hunt down and kill in hopes of forgetting what made her hurt and imagining it was her adoptive father suffering under the force of her power.

It was unfortunate that as she was thinking this, she was staring straight at Mr Suit. Because to Vanya, the mystery had finally been revealed. She now knew why he bothered her so much and who he reminded her of.

Mr Suit reminded her of Reginald Hargreeves. But unlike her victims, she didn’t want to kill him. 

Vanya had heard of daughters of abusers eventually growing up to fall for and marry men just as abusive as their fathers. Back then, she had been so confident that it wouldn’t happen to her. But here she was, apparently attracted to a man who reminded her far too much of the man who raised her.

Mr Suit by no means resembled Dad. 

But the air of superiority, the disdain for other people, it was all too eerily similar to Dad’s.

This time, Vanya didn’t wait until closing time. When only she and Mr Suit remained, Vanya quickly informed him they were closing early. Thankfully, he didn’t protest. 

He was gone as soon as she finished mopping the floor. 

She locked up and walked home soon after. As was her habit, she kept her ears open for anything out of the ordinary. Then she heard a familiar heartbeat. Mr Suit was following her home. 

Was he actually stalking her? Strangely enough, the thought of killing him held little appeal. And then another thought appeared. Was he actually trying to make sure she got home safely?

That surprised her. Because no one other than her siblings cared enough to do that. She and Mr Suit didn’t really know each other. So in Vanya’s mind, the idea of someone, a stranger no less, actually being concerned about her well-being was ridiculous.

No, this guy was a stalker. He had to be. That was the only reality in Vanya’s world. It was just Vanya’s luck that she actually felt some sort of attraction to him of all people.


	4. Chapter 4

“Mr Darcy totally has a crush on you, Vanya.”

If there was anything that could have snapped Vanya’s drooping eyelids open, it was that. The incredulous look Vanya shot her fellow waitress, Nina, must have been comical. Because Nina covered a near-laugh with a cough.

Mr Suit had just exited Griddy’s. And as per usual, it was around the time Vanya’s shift ended. By this time, even some of the other waitresses began to notice. So much so that Nina, who was currently studying to get her degree in Literature, started calling him Mr Darcy instead of Mr Suit.

Even Agnes, who was the most professional of the lot, chimed in and shared how she noticed Mr Darcy making that type of _look_ at Vanya. Agnes insisted that when Vanya wasn’t looking, he couldn’t take his eyes off her. 

That only made the others speculate more about Mr Darcy. And Vanya was surprised to witness how he turned from most hated customer to a bit of a joke, and then to some sort of loveable jackass in the eyes of her colleagues.

To them, Mr Darcy was just like the Mr Darcy in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. Someone who was high up in social status and arrogance and yet somehow unwittingly managed to develop a huge crush on a girl “so far beneath his station” to be compelled to watch her every time they were in the same room together. Someone who despite knowing of how people of his social class would receive and perceive his “walk on the wild side” decided to propose to said girl anyway. Of course, it never went that far. He still had barely spoken to her except for his usual order and an occasional indication that his pot was empty.

But ever since Nina shared _that_ part of the Pride and Prejudice novel (where Darcy actually made a very awkward and insulting confession), every other waitress at Griddy’s started metaphorically (though sometimes literally) holding their breaths every time Mr Suit/Mr Darcy came in. Each time, they wondered if that day would be the day he finally asked Vanya out.

For her part, Vanya couldn’t believe what just happened. At first, she wondered if it was Mr Suit’s looks that made him more acceptable to the others. He could be described as handsome despite or even because of his ever present frown.

It wasn’t unheard of for people to put up with unpleasant, disrespectful and condescending behavior just because they were smitten by a person’s physical appearance.

This wasn’t the first time the waitresses noticed men paying Vanya special attention. Vanya knew the ones that came before Mr Suit saw her as easy prey, especially with her small stature and general air of supposed vulnerability. She was seen as the perfect victim. And like cowards, those predators wanted an easy way to stalk and kill.

On the other hand, her colleagues said her popularity was because she was cute and nice. Someone people felt comfortable sharing stuff with.

Vanya didn’t think that was true, though.

But most of her coworkers were normal people who wanted to believe that things would turn out for the best. Despite whatever misgivings they may have had for their two previous customers, they chose to think that they were simply harmless (but creepy) weirdos. Just as they wanted to believe that Suit was essentially just a rich, eccentric jackass with a hidden heart of gold.

As far as Vanya was concerned, the only difference was that the two others that came before Mr Suit seriously creeped everyone out. So much so that her colleagues gave a sigh of relief when neither ceased to make an appearance after some time. Everyone was so happy to not have to deal with them again that they didn’t bother questioning what happened to them or where they went. Of course, unbeknownst to her coworkers, the aforementioned creeps were full-blown stalkers that Vanya dispatched as soon as one tried to corner her in a darkened alleyway while the other (on a separate occasion) tried to ambush her as she was locking up Griddy’s. 

But a person didn’t have to look like a creeper, a rapist or a killer to be one. Some criminals were simply born with the appearance and demeanor that made people instantly deduce what they’ve done at a single glance (despite telling themselves not to jump to conclusions). While others were born with faces and builds that no one in a million years would have suspected to be capable of heinous atrocities.

Mr Suit was definitely another eccentric. But he didn’t exude a vibe that he was capable of sneaking into a person’s house to rape and/or kill his victims. Of course, Vanya knew better than to take people at face value. After all, her own adoptive father looked human but was in fact an extraterrestrial. Reginald Hargreeves had lived a long life among humans. But that didn’t mean he acquired any human characteristics.

Now that she knew his secrets, everything about him made sense. Vanya started to wonder how no one outside even suspected. 

Then again, there were a dozen different reasons that could explain that. For one thing, despite the presence of people with extraordinary abilities (i.e. her siblings), the world in general still drew the line at aliens. Without documented proof, the scientific world in general would not give the theory of intelligent life outside earth much credence.

And then there was Reginald’s money. When Vanya was younger, she only thought of money as an abstract concept. She grew up more privileged than most in the material aspects and never needed to purchase things when Pogo was all too willing to do it for her (as long as Reginald approved).

It was only when she got out of the Academy that she realized how much power money could buy. With it, a person could actually make others do what he wants, save a life or even ruin it almost beyond repair. Money can’t actually make someone more likeable. But it attracts people who were willing to endure bad and offensive behavior in hopes that they could get some of it.

Was that the main reason Mr Suit had an image change in the eyes of her coworkers? Despite his arrogant demeanor, he did give generous tips. There have been several occasions when his money made a difference for a coworker who had bills or rent to pay.

Did he actually have some sort of regard for the waitresses that had to bear the brunt of his brusque, rude and even insulting manner? Was Mr Suit actually a jerk with a heart of gold as her coworkers wish to think?

Even though Mr Suit had made it a habit to follow her home whenever she got off on her night shift, he never approached her. He hadn’t even taken the numerous opportunities she gave him to attack her. Vanya felt a little disappointed (and perhaps more than a little relieved, though she’d bury that in the deepest corner of her heart) that it gave her no excuse to dispatch him like she did the other men who followed her late at night.

By now, his heartbeat had become somewhat of a companion on her lonely walk home. Despite her low opinion of the man (there was only one type of person willing to part with large sums and follow a waitress home, in her opinion), Vanya liked the smooth, steady rhythm his heart made and was almost sad to hear it fade from her hearing as soon as she turned on the lights to her apartment.

A part of her, the part that told her to trust and rely only on herself, hated how much this man she didn’t even know could affect her.

When once she had dreamt of Five and his gentle hands on her body, she now dreamt of this man entering the safe space of her bedroom, with Vanya herself welcoming him with open arms. The first time she dreamt of eagerly taking him inside her, she thought it was a fluke. A product of her loneliness and lack of a sex life.

But when she dreamt of Mr Suit a second time and then a third, Vanya started to have a serious problem. While pleasurable in and of itself, the dreams were too much. They threatened to fan an obsession Vanya could ill afford, given how she was already indulging in the dangerous hobby of hunting down killers.

So she started losing sleep. 

Studies had long shown the detrimental effects the lack of sleep had on a normal person. Vanya herself was a big believer in getting a good night’s rest to better meet the demands of the following day. But in this case, she became irrationally fearful of what her subconscious was telling her. So she decided to forego sleep almost entirely.

Of course, Vanya knew that she couldn’t keep it up forever. Vanya had a million things to do. And she knew she couldn’t take part in her _hobby_ with her eyes threatening to shut every so often and every horizontal surface starting to look inviting enough to lie upon.

She had to keep her wits about her, all of her senses fully functioning if she was to both capture prey and keep a low profile while doing so. Not all of the killers she found were absolute cowards. Some of them actually fought as soon as they realized they were soundly cornered, with no way out.

Not that it did much good in the long run. But Vanya would rather not have to explain any possible scratches, bruises, knife wounds or gunshot wounds that could result in being too tired to watch out for oncoming attacks to a possible interloper who thought he or she was being a Good Samaritan. And due to the nature of her work at Griddy’s, such things tend to get noticed by both coworkers and customers, some of whom were actual cops who didn’t mind fitting into the stereotype of doughnut loving officers of the law. It also didn’t help that some of them were on friendly terms with Diego (and possibly Klaus, who had spent more than a few occasions in jail).

Seven days of little sleep had been a bad decision to begin with. But to be fair, it sounded like the best option at the time. Vanya didn’t want to dream. Especially not dreams that included Mr Suit in her bedroom. Unfortunately, her subconscious wasn’t cooperating. So she somehow got into her head to deprive herself of sleep in some misguided notion that she’d be too tired to even dream by the time she succumbed.

She had been wondering whether tonight was the night she could finally lay her head on her pillow and close her eyes when Nina interrupted her thoughts with her theory about Mr Suit aka Mr Darcy.

Vanya honestly couldn’t believe he actually liked her, much more had a crush on her. No one gave something for absolutely nothing. Reginald Hargreeves adopted seven unplanned and unwanted children in order to make use of their abilities. 

Had her own siblings not felt guilty at what happened to her baby, they would have continued ignoring her. She loved them. But she knew they only decided to side with her to assuage their collective guilt and feelings of pity for her.

Mr Suit was no different. He wanted something from her. And it wasn’t as innocent as a crush. No one took notice of her unless it was to hurt her, make use of her or both.

_Five wasn’t like that. He loved you for you._

Maybe so. But Five left. And never came back. All she had left were Quinn, her powers and an ever-present desire to kill those who prey on the weak.

————

Despite Vanya’s best efforts, trouble had a way of finding her. On the eighth day of her “sleep strike,” she had been at one of the women’s shelters. 

Usually, she would volunteer to clean the rooms from the offices to the sleeping quarters assigned to the women and children who sought sanctuary while she listened (or rather eavesdropped) on interviews being conducted a few doors away.

That was where she got info on some of her victims. While Vanya would have wanted to immediately kill all the abusive boyfriends, husbands and significant others of the women coming to the shelters, she had to be selective and bide her time. Perhaps it was just her paranoia. But while Vanya was confident she had Pogo and Reginald fooled with her act, it wouldn’t do for them to somehow connect “mysterious” disappearances and deaths to the shelters she worked at.

So she had to wait. Sometimes weeks. Sometimes months. Sometimes even years for the right opportunity to come along. 

Some of the victims she sourced from the shelters were thugs, bullies and criminals known to frequent hot spots for drugs, sex and alcohol. It wasn’t unusual that some of them got themselves killed before Vanya ever reached them. But most of the time, her prey were like cockroaches, seemingly invulnerable to misfortune, at least until Vanya gets to them.

The good thing about that type of prey was that their vanishing could be attributed to a lot of different causes that couldn’t be directly connected to being abusive assholes. As much as their explosive tempers and violent tendencies inspired fear, these also attracted a lot of enemies. It also didn’t help that indulging in the vices of drugs, sex and alcohol wasn’t cheap. And some of them owed money to someone (more often than not, people just as or even more unsavory than they were because who else would even consider lending money that would be spent on the triumvirate of vices).

Usually, Vanya could dispose of them before the wife or girlfriend decided to go back to the same people they chose to leave in the first place. So killing that type of prey was mostly a preventive measure rather than retaliatory. At the end of the day, the wife or girlfriend (and any possible children) would have a chance to pick up the pieces and make a fresh start. They were away from immediate danger. And Vanya was proud in having a hand in that.

Sometimes, she would hear news of some who had decided to take a fresh start somewhere else. Some would even turn up to the shelters to volunteer themselves. Vanya truly wished it was the same for all the women she helped. But regrettably, some would come right back to the shelter seeking sanctuary from a new but not quite different partner.

It was at those times when Vanya had to concede that there were limits to her powers. That her powers couldn’t help the women trapped in a vicious cycle of abuse. Briefly, Vanya considered if she should put these women out of their misery. But she thought better of it. Or rather, in a strange, messed-up way, Vanya could sympathize.

Who was she to tell them how to live their lives? If Vanya had any sense at all, she would have gotten rid of the only two people who could expose her abilities. How many times a day did Vanya have to remind herself to keep up appearances lest Reginald and Pogo find out she had full use of her powers? While she never ingested any of her pills, she made sure to refill her prescriptions like clockwork. Dad might not be the least bit interested in Vanya’s day to day activities. But if there was anything he would certainly monitor, it was whether she still took her medication. It chafed at Vanya to have to live her life in fear of what they might do should they know.

It was funny because she knew she could kill them any time she wanted. And yet, even until now, she couldn’t get herself to do it. 

In the end, she wasn’t any better than the women who went back to their abusers or the women who exchanged one asshole for another. All Vanya could comfort herself with was that at this rate, she would never run out of prey, which suited her just fine.

Then there were abusive assholes that had wealth and position in society. Those that could afford to fund their expensive addictions and their own legal team should they somehow get entangled with the long arm of the law. Vanya had to be careful of the time and place to dispatch them because these were the type of people who would be missed. 

These were also the type of people that were within Reginald Hargreeves’ extensive network of connections. Looking back, this explained why the Umbrella Academy’s missions all involved high profile cases. That and the fact that Reginald fancied himself as a man concerned with the world in general. So much so that he wouldn’t bother to take “small-time” cases. 

The Umbrella Academy did not concern itself with petty theft, rape, kidnapping or domestic violence unless it somehow involved someone with a lot of money and/or influence. In other words, the people who “matter” and did have hand with how the world was run.

But none of that was on Vanya’s mind when she was at one of the local women’s shelters on day eight of her unbroken bout of sleeplessness. They needed help sorting out donations and Vanya had free time on her hands. Free time she’d rather not spend thinking about the weird and perhaps not-so inexplicable attraction she had for Mr Dar-, no, Mr Suit.

She was nowhere near the front door. But Vanya didn’t need her powers to hear the gunshot she hoped did not hit any of the residents which included children.

The shelter had been understaffed and Vanya had been the sole volunteer sorting through stuff at the back office. A cold fear swept through her. This was a first for her. Lives were depending on her in real time. A gunman had entered the building for an unknown purpose. A building that only had a handful of staff and plenty of vulnerable women and children that relied on the shelter for safety.

But who was she kidding? Though she wouldn’t put it past some people to attempt to rob and steal from a non-profit organization, it was unlikely they’d do it with a gun. Robbers (at least the smart ones) would need to be assured of at least a large amount of cash and valuables on hand before undertaking something as eye-catching as armed robbery in the middle of the day. The shelter was, in fact, pretty well-known to have neither.

Which left only one other possibility. The gunman was here for someone. 

This wasn’t the first time an abusive husband or boyfriend managed to get in a shelter. Not this shelter exactly. But it always remained a possibility on every employee and volunteer’s minds. So there were security measures in place. And that included someone placing a call to the police. 

With the volume of the gunshot fired, Vanya had no doubt that at least one of the neighbors would have called by now should no one in the shelter managed to get to a phone. So all that needed to be done now was to wait.

But could Vanya afford to do that?

She couldn’t always save the victims from their abusive partners. Sometimes, the women decide to return to their abusers only for the abuse to continue and escalate. And on one occasion, a woman died before Vanya could stop her abuser.

Someone brought a gun in the shelter. It would be foolish to believe the gunman only loaded one bullet. Vanya could hear all the heartbeats around her accelerating, beating faster than ever before. She could hear muffled sobs and full-blown cries of terror as the gunman ordered those at the front room to tie each other up.

She could sense the fear coming from the rooms where women and children tried their best to lock and barricade the doors in hopes that it could keep the gunman away.

Her hearing registered police sirens coming their way. However, Vanya calculated the distance and was dismayed to find that the police were at least five minutes away. Under normal circumstances, five minutes was no time at all. But in this case, when everyone (except for Vanya) was in fear for their very lives, five minutes was an eternity.

So far, it appeared that the gunman had fired at the ceiling. So no one was hurt. At least, not yet. The man brought a deadly weapon. So as far as Vanya was concerned, he intended to use it.

Vanya had no qualms with using her powers to do away with this piece of shit. The only thing that truly held her back was what her display of powers would do to the children. Vanya’s abilities did not leave pretty corpses. And she would rather not traumatize the people in the shelter, especially the children.

But the police were still far away. And the gunman had already tried breaking through one of the rooms. Vanya heard screams. And all her concerns about fueling children’s nightmares and scarring them for life went out the door.

She had intended to give the gunman a heart attack. Still not a pretty sight to behold. But she’d rather the shelter residents alive and scarred rather than dead and six feet under.

Unfortunately, perhaps due to her sleepless nights, she lost control.

Vanya inadvertently caused the man to explode. Bits of his bones actually hit the door. Blood as well as various organs and limbs were scattered everywhere. 

_Shit!_, was all Vanya could think as the police processed the crime scene and questioned everyone on what happened.

______________

Vanya was back to work at Griddy’s the next day. But no amount of makeup could hide how exhausted she was. Vanya would have wanted to say that it was because of the explicitly bloody crime scene she created at the shelter. But the truth was that she would have rather relive it in her sleep rather than what she actually dreamt about the night before.

It was Mr Darcy again. The things she did to him. And the things she let him do to her. Vanya would have preferred it if her dreams revealed him to be a killer. 

Instead, her dreams gave her an imaginary man who looked at her as if she was his whole world, who touched her as if she was made of glass and made her feel good (far too good, in her opinion) as he made his way inside her.

Vanya found herself crying as soon as she woke to realize it was just a dream. When she managed to clam down, she got up to get a glass of water. A glance at the clock showed that it was still 3 in the morning. But she didn’t dare go back to sleep despite the fact that she still sorely needed it. 

Vanya could have handled nightmares. It was always a relief to wake up from those. But to dream of something that made her the closest thing to happy in a long time was more than she could bear.

So she picked up Quinn from his crib beside her bed and held him tight as she sung him a lullaby. It was funny how she needed a doll she treated like her baby to comfort her from a disturbing dream. One could even say that Quinn had become something of a security blanket for Vanya, chasing away her fears and anxiety simply by being near her.

Vanya stroked his hair the way she imagined she would have done her baby had it lived. The pain of that loss would never truly leave her. But time, work and the execution of a lot of deserving people helped to numb it.

She looked at Quinn and once again marveled at how closely the doll resembled Five. Had he not time traveled, would he be with her now? Or would they have grown apart as soon as they left the Academy?

Vanya would like to think that they’d stay together. But she’d seen and heard of many childhood sweethearts that were torn apart by so many factors which could range from something as simple as physical distance or something as complex as incompatible goals for the future.

Vanya had also heard of spouses breaking up after the loss of a child. While knowing better, she felt compelled to wonder on things that could have been.

Had Five been there after Reginald’s successful abortion of her pregnancy, would the shared loss have brought them closer together? Or would it have actually served to separate them where all of Reginald’s other attempts had failed?

It had been so long since she had last seen Five that Vanya was no longer sure of the answer. A younger Vanya would have had the confidence and optimism to think that she and Five would stick it out together. But life outside the Academy showed her that there was more than just Reginald Hargreeves to be wary of. 

As was usual when thinking of Five, she felt that familiar pang of bittersweet emotion that always caused a sudden downpour of rain throughout the city. Thinking about him made her reminisce about some of the happiest times of her childhood. But it also left her a little (or maybe a lot) resentful of Five. 

Logically, she knew that Five’s presence might not have been enough to prevent Reginald Hargreeves from taking her child. On the other hand, logic really didn’t matter much to Vanya’s emotions. Because when all was said and done, he wasn’t there when she needed him most. 

Five would have been the only other person to understand the loss of their child. Had he been there, Vanya wouldn’t have felt so alone.

Some days, Vanya wondered what she would do if she acquired the suitcase that was actually a time machine and used it to find Five. Would she embrace him in joy, simply glad to finally be reunited with him? Or would she scream, shout and beat him? Kill him or kiss him?

The part of her that knew Five thought that he wouldn’t just leave without at least telling her goodbye. He was probably stuck somewhere and couldn’t get back. If that was the case, she had to get a hold of that suitcase.

On the other hand, the cynical part of her thought that Five simply chose never to come back. The Academy was as close to hell as they’ve ever been. And It wasn’t like Vanya was a big catch. She was neither beautiful nor charming. And after all, how could she compare to the mysteries of time and space?

Without Five to provide confirmation, all she had left were theories. She hated the feeling of being in limbo, both dreading and anticipating what the real answer might be. Hence, here she was, wanting to do something to find out what happened to Five and yet being unable to do anything about it.

To top it off, she had developed a strange fascination for a rich prick in a suit. And she had lost sleep because of it, which in turn led to Vanya accidentally causing a man to explode. It was a small mercy that the victim in question totally deserved it.

But still, that loss of control cannot be tolerated. It wasn’t normal for a man to blow up in pieces without at least the help of explosives. As she sat there rocking Quinn and stroking his hair, Reginald Hargreeves might well be connecting that incident to Vanya herself.

Vanya briefly considered that possibility but found that she didn’t care. Then again, not getting enough sleep made it hard to care about anything other than when one can finally get the whole recommended 8 hours of sleep.

She had to find a way to purge Mr Darcy from her system.

_____________

The plan was simple. Vanya’s subconscious was telling her she wanted sex from Mr Darcy. So all she needed to do was to seduce him.

If her coworkers were to be believed, it should be easy.

Despite only exchanging a few sentences with the man, it was safe to say he had some level of interest in her. He always showed up during one of her shifts. If she took the night shift alone, Darcy would inevitably come in and stay until closing time. 

She never attempted to actually converse with him before, preferring to go about her own tasks and wait until the clock told her it was time to go. Not that she hadn’t been curious about why a man of obvious wealth would choose to spend his time in a place he himself called a “shithole.” But it had never been her way to go up to people to make either small talk or deep, philosophical discussions. 

Outside of family, Vanya never truly felt comfortable approaching people. In fact, the only time she was willing to step out of her comfort zone was when it was in service to her non-musical hobby. Vanya wouldn’t call it an addiction. Not exactly. But she did notice she felt infinitely a lot better when she punished someone who deserved it. So anything that brought her one step closer to that goal was something she was willing to do.

But what she was planning now with Mr Darcy had little to do with making a monster suffer. She was pretty sure he wasn’t a rapist or a serial killer. So unfortunately, killing him was off the table. That left sleeping with him in hopes that having sex again would soon lose its novelty and she could finally go back to sleep without being haunted by dreams of him.

Vanya had killed and disposed bodies efficiently and methodically. All without getting caught either by law enforcement or her adoptive father. She had planned how to trap, corner and murder countless killers and predators. And she got away with barely a scratch.

So seducing a man with an unhealthy level of interest in her should be a piece of cake.

Unfortunately, all that confidence evaporated as soon as the man in question came inside Griddy’s.

It was the night shift. And there was just the two of them. There was no reason to expect anyone else to interrupt them, should all go according to plan. 

But that was about the same time that doubt started to creep in.

What if he had totally different reasons for keeping an eye on her? What if he wasn’t interested? What would she do if he outright rejected her? What if she couldn’t control her humiliation and she accidentally caused Griddy’s to burn down?

Vanya couldn’t believe her childhood (and adult) insecurities and fears would rear their ugly heads at this crucial moment. But there they were.

So all she could manage to do was bring him his usual order of black coffee and leave him alone. Vanya felt like crying. But of course, she didn’t cry. 

So the sky did the crying for her.

It rained until closing time. 

So as far as Vanya was concerned, it was back to the drawing board. But first, she had to clear Mr Darcy’s table and inform him that Griddy’s was closing (even though he’d been enough of a regular to know the time).

She proceeded like an automaton with one programmed task in mind. Vanya was so focused on the work at hand that she had to look up when she registered a voice that could only belong to Mr Darcy.

“Excuse me. Could you repeat that again?”

Vanya fully expected a sigh of exasperation. But Mr Darcy only looked worried.

“Do you need to be driven home? In that weather, no umbrella would be big enough to keep anyone dry,” he said as he indicated the heavy rain pouring outside.

This should have been her chance. But Vanya was on autopilot. It wasn’t the first time a man offered to drive her home from Griddy’s. And she always responded the same way. 

“No thanks. I’ll just wait here until the rain stops.”

Most would just shrug their shoulders then leave. Some would try to insist to take her home out of some misplaced sense of chivalry. But Vanya had long learned how to stand her ground.

To her surprise, Mr Darcy took a third option.

“What are you doing?”

He had taken the pot and the mug from her and went to the direction of the kitchen.

“Sit down. You look like you’re about to collapse. For once, I’ll clear this out while you wait and rest.”

Mr Darcy- It was only then that Vanya realized she had started to call Suit “Mr Darcy.” He gave her no time to stop him. Besides, Vanya didn’t think she had any more reserves to insist that he let her do her job.

So she took a seat at Mr Darcy’s usual booth and looked out the window. She let herself be distracted by the sight of a minor flood and the sound of water drops falling down hard surfaces. By the time she focused her attention back to Griddy’s interiors, Darcy had already taken the seat opposite hers.

At once, Vanya wanted to bang her head on the table. He could have gone in the kitchen, taken a knife and slit her throat. And she would have been too inattentive to put up a fight. Had he intended to kill her, he could have had her bleeding on the floor right now simply because she let her guard down.

But he didn’t. 

There was no way Mr Darcy (she still didn’t know his name) was a normal guy. But that didn’t necessarily mean he was anything like the stalkers, rapists and murderers she had met. Strangely enough, Vanya was interested to know more about him even if he turned out to be harmless and therefore not possible prey in any sense of the word.

So she looked him in the eye and asked her first question.


	5. Chapter 5

A few days ago, one of her coworkers asked her a question: “Do you prefer boys or girls?”

This wasn’t the first time something of the sort was posed to Vanya. Plenty of past and present Griddy’s waitresses had been curious about Vanya’s lack of a love life, or a life in general. And Vanya had no plans of changing it. Romance had long been kicked out of her bucket list. 

But Vanya was seen as young, friendly and fairly attractive. And she came with some of her own (unwanted) admirers. She took pains to perpetuate this facade because of the tips and the creepy stalkers it attracted.

But to her coworkers, it always came as a sort of puzzle that she wasn’t seeing anyone. To them, a nice girl like Vanya shouldn’t be alone. She deserved to have someone take care of her, love her and protect her. 

Given how this always came up, Vanya was sure she’d be hearing the same sort of question all over again. So she would generally have her own set of prepared answers.

Unfortunately, she had been running on little sleep when the newest waitress Janine asked her about it. 

As if on autopilot, her mind interpreted the question differently, which led her mouth to give an entirely novel answer. One that she only registered in the middle of the sentence and found herself having no choice but to continue lest it began to sound even stranger.

“Mostly male. But I won’t limit myself to them.”

Of course, Janine was actually asking about her sexual preference. But Vanya had responded with her choice of victims.

Going on a few hours of sleep for weeks was clearly impairing her judgment. It didn’t help that she also had to fend off Janine’s offer of introducing her to her single friends (with the pick of gender left up to Vanya).

It was at times like these when she really had to seriously question what was wrong with her. Objectively speaking, she had dreamt of worse things than being in compromising positions with Darcy. 

There was the time she paid a serial child molester a visit. 

Pedophile. Child Rapist. Child molester. 

Over the course of Vanya’s “hunting” experience, she had come to realize that those were simply very general terms to describe a person who took sexual advantage of children. Just like any group classified under a common terminology, the members come in different shapes and sizes. 

There were even those who only came into the category of child rapists simply because they had an urge to commit such an atrocious act and a child happened to be at the wrong place, at the wrong time. And in those people’s minds, it made sense to use children because they were easier to subdue. Cowards.

Then, there were those who “liked” children a little too much. The ones who took on duties and responsibilities that gave them easy access to their preferred targets. They also happened to be more likely to suffer from the delusion that their victims somehow reciprocated their sexual interest. Truth be told, Vanya could never look at charismatic and popular teachers, scout masters, youth ministers and little league coaches the same way again after crossing paths with one too many of the latter type of child molester, which happened to count the one she had visited among its numbers.

He lived in a nice house, the interior of which was tidy and filled with awards to recognize his contribution to society, particularly his work with children. It didn’t take long for Vanya to break him, make him reveal the monster he truly was underneath the facade of respectability.

He was made to show her his collection of child pornography, something Vanya had no intention of ever viewing and every reason to save for the police to know why Samaritan killed him. 

He was also “rigorously urged” to produce his collection of polaroid photos. Truth be told, that was how she found him in the first place. A grown, single man with a polaroid camera covertly snapping pictures of children at a park. That had certainly drawn her attention. Had she been younger, Vanya would have dismissed it. Unfortunately, she’d had other pedophilic victims that seemed to love polaroids too.

What sealed the deal was witnessing him covertly stalk a young boy as the child made his way back to his house.

It was from this particular victim where she had discovered a cluster of pedophiles living in the city. Apparently, they formed a support group in which they could commiserate and also share, buy and sell their collection of “home-made” videos and covert photographs. 

And that was the only reason this one was kept alive longer than usual. Vanya had wanted names and addresses. But things didn’t go according to plan. She’d like to think she had a fairly good handle of her emotions. But as soon as she came across a set of photos from this man’s collection, Vanya couldn’t stop herself. Her victim must have registered something in her face because he had begun promising her all the names he knew, one of which worked for at a top level of government.

But Vanya’s powers reacted even before her mind could process his words. In less than a second, he was split in two.

There was a certain amount of satisfaction seeing him this way. Remembering what she’d done to him and dreaming about it did not bother Vanya in the slightest. They were good dreams in her opinion. 

But the good dream eventually turned bad when it showed her the contents of the polaroids that made her snap. What was done to the children in those pictures were unforgivable. And it haunted her that she killed the would-be snitch too hastily. Because she couldn’t find any clues as to who his friends were.

Still, Vanya learned to live with it. She would find his friends. Vanya knew it was only a matter of time. It hurt to know that it might take something bad happening to a child for that to happen. But there was nothing she could do. Nothing but to wait. And prepare. So after telling herself her usual mantra and rocking Quinn to the tune of a lullaby, she would go back to sleep. Even if she revisited that nightmare again, she always eventually closed her eyes and lost consciousness.

Then there were the dreams about being in a dark, ear-splittingly silent cell that was more of a tomb than a room. She remembered being scared and all alone, crying for Mom and Five to let her out. But no one seemed to have heard her because no one came to get her out. Those would have been enough to upset Vanya because this dream felt like a memory, something that actually happened to her in the past. 

Vanya wouldn’t be surprised if it was true. But more than the unbearable isolation was the feeling of utter helplessness, the absolute certainty that her very fate depended on another person and the realization that there was nothing she could do to change it. Even more upsetting was the feeling of loss, as if something had been taken from her that she was powerless to get back.

That was when she remembered. She didn’t have powers. Vanya was back to her old useless self. 

And then there were the dreams about being outside her body and looking down to see Reginald Hargreeves perform that hated procedure that took her baby away from her forever.

Waking up from that made her cry about as much as escaping from dreams of Darcy.

And yet, it was those dreams with Darcy where she felt happy and secure that truly bothered her. 

Perhaps it was because she desperately wanted them to be true, at least in the sense that she wanted to feel that way again. 

Or perhaps, those dreams bothered her because they threatened to sap away her reason for being.

At least the nightmare of the horrors done to others and to herself (and her child) gave her renewed determination. It made her want to get up every morning in defiance to every pain and hurt that had weighed her down in the past. They made her even more dogged to hunt down all those predators who victimized people either because it made them feel good about themselves or because they simply could.

This was in stark contrast to the dreams of Darcy, which confused and distracted her. And made her imagine of a life that could have been instead of focusing on her life right now. It created in her a longing for a different life. 

Vanya wished she had someone she could talk to about this: the part about having a fascination for someone. 

But Ben was dead. Allison was busy with her life in LA. Vanya didn’t even know how to begin a conversation about this with Diego. She didn’t know where Klaus was right now and she feared that he wouldn’t be in the right frame of mind to listen. And she didn’t dare put her current predicament on paper for Luther (who was currently on the moon) to read. 

Every month, she’d send Luther a letter. But that meant that it would pass through Pogo (and by extension, Dad’s) hands. And Vanya did not want to risk them deciding to open her letters. 

Which left only Quinn. So she told her baby everything, even though anything Quinn could tell her were things she already knew.

————

“Why are you still here?”

Vanya winced as soon as the words spilled from her mouth. It sounded rude and ungrateful. But she had reached the point of not wanting to beat around the bush.

To his credit, Darcy (now that Vanya thought of it, she should have asked his name) didn’t scowl or in any way indicate an expression that could be interpreted that he thought her question was stupid. But it did take on a poker face that made it impossible for Vanya to know what he was thinking.

Everything she knew about him (which wasn’t much) gave her the impression that he thought he was better than everyone else. To sit here and wait out the storm with her only to be questioned for it would have been taken as an insult. Or at least, that was what Vanya had assumed.

She expected him to stand up, walk out the door and leave her all alone.

Instead, he spoke in a calm, clear voice.

“It’s raining out there and I don’t want to get wet. Besides, it’s late. You shouldn’t be alone at this hour and at this weather.”

Was he truly a gentleman beneath a facade of indifference? She wanted to believe it. But not a lot of people would go through all that trouble just for a stranger they barely knew and simply out of the goodness of their hearts.

Vanya might have believed him to be a philanthropist had she actually seen him do anything for anyone else or shown an interest in another person’s well-being. 

And while he was sort-of looking out for her (or at least implying he had a modicum of her best interests at heart), Vanya couldn’t be sure his actions weren’t heavily laced with self-interest. To be on the safe side, she kept her guard up, kept her heart metaphorically barricaded with tons of steel.

There was no way she’d allow herself to soften her stance, even if she wanted the mere possibility that he actually cared to turn out to be true.

Besides, she had survived on her own for years now. Vanya didn’t need him or anyone else for safety and security.

“This isn’t the first time I’d been stuck here later than usual. I’m sure I’ll be fine. Thanks for your concern. But there’s no need. I’m sure I can find you an umbrella big enough to keep you dry enough until you reach your car.”

Darcy’s car was parked right in front of Griddy’s. And normal people would rather take the few steps from the entrance to their car (and go home) rather than wait the rain out just to keep a waitress company.

Vanya made to stand up and find the umbrella (or anything that could get him out of here). But he was quick. 

She felt something akin to a jolt of electricity that originated from the patch of skin he had touched. It had raced throughout her body.

Vanya didn’t know what she would have done next had a bolt of lightning illuminated the dark, rainy night outside. By the time a near-deafening sound of thunder made its presence known, she had managed to disentangle herself from him.

Or more accurately, Darcy decided to let her go in that split second he realized how inappropriate he was being.

“I’m sorry,” Vanya was on autopilot again. She had never truly broken the habit of apologizing for everything that made her feel the least bit uncomfortable. It didn’t matter if she was at fault. It didn’t even matter if she actually felt sorry. Put her in an awkward situation with a person (who wasn’t family or one of her potential victims) and her body would hunch on herself and her lips would start to word out the apology.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. In fact, I should be the one to say that. It just occurred to me that you’d be feeling jumpy with only me for company. And I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that. You don’t know me. And you have no reason to trust me. But I really don’t want to leave you alone in the middle of the night with a storm outside. Just because you haven’t been attacked or robbed in the past doesn’t mean it won’t happen in the future. No offense, but you don’t exactly look like the type of girl who carries a gun in her purse. And there are a lot of people who take advantage of weakness, perceived or otherwise. So I’ll stay. I’ll back away if it makes you feel better. But I’ll stay here until I’m sure you can get home safely.”

With that, Darcy parked himself two booths away from her. He kept his hands on the table where she could see them. And he made sure both eyes were trained on his hands.

The wise decision would be to stay far away from this man. Like her coworkers and her siblings, Darcy thought that she was a helpless, young woman in need of protection. 

He couldn’t be further from the truth. And Vanya was torn from being annoyed at how easily he bought into her act and being touched that he cared enough to want to stay with her. Hence, all the more reason to get away from him.

Because why should she feel disturbed that he couldn’t see through the mask she had diligently cultivated all this time? Every waking moment outside of her hunts was spent perpetuating the story of this meek and mild young woman who couldn’t hurt a fly. It was who Vanya had been in the past, or at least who she would have been if she hadn’t lost the baby, discovered her powers and found a different way to continue living.

And why should she actually let his concern touch her? He wasn’t the first person who had offered to take her home or accompany her on her night shift. He wasn’t even the most harmless, the nicest or the most charming person to offer. But here she was warming to him, despite her best efforts not to.

The cynical side of her surmised that Darcy probably wanted her for sex. Or if he had knowledge of her associations with the Umbrella Academy (and that wasn’t farfetched considering he had been following her home for some time now and had probably looked her up in the library or something), he probably wanted to use her either to get dirt on the Academy or to be some sort of hostage.

Given her luck and past experiences, that was certainly a big possibility.

But when it all came down to it, Vanya discovered an alarming thing. She just didn’t care.

She wanted this man. Desired him like no one else. At least, not since Five. 

The alarm bells were going off in her head, telling her she knew nothing of this man. He came to Griddy’s every day and always during her shifts. He followed her home during her night shifts. And now, he insisted on staying in this dark, lonely place in the middle of a stormy night, allegedly to keep her safe. 

Darcy said that there were people who didn’t bat an eye on hurting those they deemed weak and vulnerable. Vanya couldn’t disagree. After all, she knew it to be true. She knew it all too well.

Husbands beating their wives with some even going on to hurt their own children. Stalkers and rapists targeting those who couldn’t fight back or choosing a time and place where their victims aren’t able to fight back. Caregivers stealing from and even murdering their ill, elderly employers. Soldiers murdering whole villages of defenseless men, women and children.

The world was full of people who had little compunction with bringing others down to the darkest depths so long as it benefited them in some way, whether it came in the form of fame, notoriety, fortune or even just to feel good about their own self worth.

So the question is: would Darcy be one of those people?

Vanya had spent enough time in the women’s shelters to know that abusive relationships didn’t start out looking that way. Put a frog in a pot of boiling water and it would immediately jump away. But put it in lukewarm water and slowly set the water to boil and the frog won’t even realize it was burning. That was how abusive relationships went. With things starting out great until things gradually but surely came to a dark and destructive reality. 

The abusive partner may start by monopolizing the abusee’s time, perhaps even succeeding in entirely cutting her off from friends and family. Or he may also start putting her down even as he makes her choose who she would rather spend time with. The abuse victim may not even realize the danger she is in even when he starts hitting her or even when she finds herself in the hospital for the second or third time. 

But by then, her psyche and sense of self might have been damaged enough to think that she is nothing without her abuser, that she is all alone and the only thing she could depend on is the very man who put her in the hospital in the first place. Or alternatively, she might think that staying would be better because if he’s pissed off when she’s with him, she doesn’t want to imagine what he would be like when he finds out she disobeyed by deciding to leave him.

Under no circumstances would Vanya want to end up in that situation. Despite her immense powers, Vanya knew how even she could be susceptible to warmth and kindness, whether feigned or genuine. 

But still, she did want to know more about this man in front of her. A part of her marveled at her hesitation and her fear. Vanya knew what she was capable of. So what if she got hurt in the process? If Darcy ended up being another abusive asshole, she would deal with him the same way she had dealt with the others. 

Vanya lived in a reality where she had all the power. In this case, she knew this as a fact.

But even until now, she still acted as if she had none. Perhaps because a part of her never did quite believe she could have these abilities. 

It’s possible that despite her knowledge to the contrary, Allison’s powers were still actively at work, forcing her to view herself as ordinary. But Vanya hated that explanation. If she accepted that, then she would have to continue believing that Allison’s power to compel would plague her all her life. 

She would much rather believe that all she had to contend with was her own self-image. That if Vanya showed herself enough times how extraordinary she was, Vanya would eventually be secure in that knowledge.

Darcy was really nothing to be afraid of. He was just a man. Sure, she would be disappointed if he was just another rich prick thinking of slumming it to have a good time. Though in her opinion that was a lot better than the possibility of him turning out to be a lowlife trying to dig up dirt on the Academy or a criminal with a vendetta against the Academy. Not that she had any intention of protecting Reginald’s precious Academy in any way. More that she hated the thought of being used against an institution she would have destroyed herself.

But she was getting ahead of herself. She took her seat at Darcy’s original booth. He was still two booths away. But since it was just the two of them with the storm still churning outside, there shouldn’t be any problem with raising her voice to ask something that had been bothering her for some time now.

“Are your arms full of scars?”

Darcy gave her a somewhat dumbfounded expression.

“What?”

“You always wear long sleeves. And I’ve never seen you roll them up, even in the middle of summer, or even when the air conditioning broke down. So I was wondering if you had something to hide in there,” she said with a smile.

Darcy seemed to light up instantly. She thought he would give her a straight answer. But his smirk indicated otherwise.

“Miss Vanya, I didn’t even think you knew I existed. You always looked so busy. And even on the rare occasions you take my order, it was like you couldn’t wait to ring it up to move on to the next task.”

“You always order the same thing. The only reason any of us ever come near you was to check if you wanted something new for a change. Besides, you made it pretty clear the first time that you didn’t want anyone to waste your time.”

For some reason, Vanya felt comfortable talking to him even if this was the first time she held a conversation with Darcy. He was a stranger. But it was as if she can tell him anything and could rest assured that it would be taken in confidence. 

“That’s true. I didn’t want to be bothered. All I wanted was a decent cup of coffee and a space to enjoy it.”

Strangely enough, Vanya wasn’t shocked at his candor. Most people would try to deny being stand-offish. But inexplicably, she found that it was just like him to say what he wanted to say, consequences be damned. 

“Why Griddy’s? You look like you could afford better coffee and a higher-end coffee shop.” 

Not to mention the fact that he once called Griddy’s a shithole.

Darcy took a long time to reply. And for a few minutes, Vanya wondered if he would finally leave just to keep whatever secret he had to himself. It was silly to think that when Darcy could have easily changed the subject. Or more true to the image he had cultivated since his first appearance at Griddy’s, he could have just told her to mind her own business. 

But for some reason, he did none of those things.

“Nostalgia, I suppose. I used to come here as a kid with my family. At the time, I thought Griddy’s was the best place on earth. Believe it or not. Now, I come back years later. And it isn’t the same.”

Vanya couldn’t have disagreed more. Sure, Griddy’s had to replace some fixtures over the years. But Griddy’s looked the same as it ever did. Or at least, ever since she and her siblings would come down here and stuff themselves with doughnuts until they puked.

Darcy didn’t look much older than her. And Agnes, who had been working here since it opened, had told her that the owner made it a point to ensure the interiors stayed the same. So Vanya didn’t understand what he meant.

“I’m not talking about how Griddy’s looks. In that regard, it hasn’t changed at all. But I guess, I expected to have a little of that wonder and excitement back as soon as I walked through that door.”

Had Darcy revealed this to any of her other colleagues, Vanya was sure they’d think somewhere along the lines: “I could never think of you as an innocent, fun-loving kid.”

And if Vanya was being honest with herself, she’d thought the same thing. And yet, looking at him now, she could easily imagine him as a young, green-eyed boy who could barely contain his anticipation to consume as much sugar and drink as much coffee he wanted. She could surmise that his parents wanted him to have a more nutritious diet and would try to keep him away from sweets as much as possible. 

Darcy seemed like he was born from a wealthy family. So it didn’t feel right (to Vanya, at least) that his parents would willingly patronize Griddy’s. 

But perhaps, it was just Vanya’s bias. After all, the only other rich person of her acquaintance was her adoptive father, who frowned on all forms of junk food and hated caffeine with an irrational passion. 

Reginald Hargreeves was a control freak and wanted his food prepared according to his exacting, nutritious specifications. The only “outside food” he ever tolerated came from restaurants that had Michelin stars. And Griddy’s was far from it.

This was why she and her siblings saw a trip to Griddy’s as something of an illicit activity. Something they shouldn’t be doing, not just because it was late at night and they were without adult supervision. Griddy’s gave them their own version of contraband, food that Mom would never be allowed to give them in a place painted in bright, cheerful colors that was the direct opposite of the dour and sullen Hargreeves Manor.

Vanya understood what Darcy meant when he said Griddy’s didn’t feel the same. Back then, she had Five and their other siblings. And she was happy then because it was one of the few memories where she felt like she was a part of something. The first time she and Five had sex was directly after one such foray to Griddy’s.

Vanya remembered holding Five’s hand on the very same booth she was sitting in right now. The same booth that Darcy took (whether vacant or occupied) whenever he came to Griddy’s. 

And in a hot flash, she realized that when she pictured Darcy as a child, he looked strikingly similar to Five.

Was that why Darcy’s mere presence bothered her so much? Why she had been losing sleep in fear of dreaming of him (yet again)?

Did her subconscious take one look at Darcy and think that he was what Five would look like at this age?

He certainly had Five’s arrogance down to a T. For all of the love and affection she had felt for Five, Vanya couldn’t deny that the boy who had been her only lover could be an insufferable asshole at the best and worst of times.

And with his intellect and stubborn perseverance, Vanya could easily imagine him to be a success in whatever path he chose to take. And by extension, showing it in his every movement and choice of clothing.

And then a wild leap of thought left her almost breathless. 

Was she looking at Five right now?

That would explain why he would come to Griddy’s and always during her shifts. That might explain why he would follow her home.

But that made no sense.

If Darcy was Five, why wouldn’t he reveal himself? Why would he simply sit there, treat her like a stranger and not even explain where (or when) he had been all this time?

No, Five wouldn’t do that to her.

Five could be an asshole. But he was never one to her. They had been each other’s confidantes, knew each other’s secrets like the back of their hands. 

The man in front of her was a stranger. He wasn’t Five. He couldn’t be.

There had been no sign of Five for years. During the first few months of his disappearance, Vanya wanted to keep her hopes up. Every night, she’d leave his favorite peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches for him like he was a lost pet who’d come home to the smell of food. And every night, she’d leave the lights on for him in fear that Five would think the house abandoned and leave her again.

But at a certain point, hoping became too painful. Because every morning that greeted her without him by her side was just a stab to the heart. Soon, Vanya discovered her pregnancy. And she didn’t think the constant torrent of disappointment was doing her and the baby any good.

It was then that Vanya decided that she had to keep moving forward. She couldn’t know for sure if Five would return or not. But it was better to prepare for the worst. Because if she kept on hoping he’d walk through her bedroom door (or window) again, Vanya didn’t think she could survive the pile-up of disappointments that would surely crush her in its wake.

“How long have you been working here?”

Of all the things he could have asked, it was that mundane question that shook Vanya out of her dark thoughts.

“Nearing ten years now.”

Vanya had been working at Griddy’s since she left the Academy at seventeen. Most of the time, she liked working at the Doughnut Shop and Diner well enough though her motives for staying were anything but pure. Living by herself with only Quinn for company meant that she had to think of how to support herself (and occasionally, Klaus, who would sometimes crash on her couch when he didn’t have a “friend” to offer him a space to sleep in or he didn’t feel like going back to the Academy).

And by chance, Griddy’s was looking for a waitress around the time she was preparing to leave the Academy. The manager didn’t want to hire her at first because she had no experience. And it was only because Agnes insisted that she would train Vanya herself that the manager finally decided to hire her.

Working at Griddy’s was first a matter of necessity. A way to pay daily living expenses and save up for something better. But then, Vanya realized that she really liked killing predators. And that being a waitress at Griddy’s made her a bait for exactly the type of targets she wanted to hunt. 

So here she was, living a more or less content life.

But the tone of Darcy’s question sounded like he was leading up to something vaguely unpleasant (at least, in Vanya’s opinion).

“Are you planning to stay at Griddy’s for the long term?”

Vanya inwardly sighed. Just as she had expected, Darcy was questioning her life choices. He was starting to sound like Reginald Hargreeves.

And that put her on the defensive.

“What’s wrong with Griddy’s?”

“Nothing. But can you honestly tell me that you want to serve food, subsist on tips and endure perverts for the rest of your life?”

Of course not. If she was being honest, she had wanted to be in an orchestra. Vanya had enjoyed playing the violin and thought being paid for doing something she loved would be wonderful. 

But getting into an orchestra required a level of skill borne from hours of practice and a network of connections one can only get through higher education, which was not at all cheap.

Vanya would rather die than take another cent from Reginald Hargreeves. And as far as she was concerned, taking out a student loan was just another form of indebtedness considering that Reginald Hargreeves partly or mostly owned the banks in town. No scholarship was willing to take her on after a background check. After all, why should they support someone they considered a rich girl when there were plenty of other more worthy candidates in need?

In any case, those points became moot when Vanya discovered her powers and what she could do with them. Or more accurately, discovered how much she loved what she could do to her preferred targets. 

The violin had once been what she thought would be the path to make her extraordinary. But her powers made her realize that she didn’t need to play the violin exceptionally well to be exceptional. She was already born that way.

In that sense, her powers freed her from the need to practice until her fingers ached. The violin was something she played for her own enjoyment and peace of mind. Something that gave her comfort and joy in a world she increasingly saw as severely lacking in both.

“Have you ever thought of leaving the city? Going out to see the world?”

Darcy’s questions annoyed her. How dare he judge her life when he was a mere passing observer while she had the unenviable job of living it?

The lightning that followed flashed even more brightly than the previous one. And the thunder that succeeded it seemed loud enough to wake the dead.

It must be her temper coming out to boil. And for everyone’s sake, Vanya decided to manage it.

If she was being honest with herself, Darcy had a point. While she didn’t have much money, she had enough to at least get out of the city. Perhaps even have a vacation. 

Ever since leaving Hargreeves Mansion, she had stayed in the same job, in the same apartment and in the same city.

But she once did wish to leave it and see if there was another way to live. Some times, in the dark of night while she held Quinn for comfort, she wondered if she could find a cabin in the woods and live there in relative peace and quiet, far away from Reginald Hargreeves and the fear that he would discover her powers.

When the man with the suitcase disappeared without a trace and she could find no clue on how to find him again, Vanya had also briefly considered traveling in hopes that she’d find him or someone like him. The city might be big. But it was a small pond compared to the world at large.

Besides, there was an endless supply of predators out there. She would never be without her prey wherever she went. 

So it begged the question, what was stopping her from leaving?

Allison went to LA and seemed to enjoy living there.

And while Luther was all alone up there on the moon, the letters Vanya had received from him (via a delivery by Pogo) indicated that he felt at peace there.

For all the contentment Vanya felt in her current life in the city she grew up in, she couldn’t honestly say she felt happy or at peace. In fact, being in close proximity to Hargreeves Manor was a constant reminder to keep her “extracurricular activities” a secret. 

Because, despite discovering how near-limitless her powers are, she feared what her adoptive father could do to her.

But in spite of the benefits to leaving, Vanya couldn’t find it in herself to move. She’d like to think she wanted to stay for Diego and Klaus’ sakes. But she knew that wasn’t the real reason.

In the end, she knew she was just as pathetic as ever.

Vanya may fear Reginald Hargreeves. But she feared the unknown changes that moving would bring even more. There was at least comfort in the familiar, even if it was a familiar fear.

But the possibility that such a major change could bring about a worse outcome had left her in some sort of emotional and mental paralysis.

Not that she was in any state to make life altering decisions at the moment, especially when her current predicament was due to lack of sleep indirectly caused by the man who had the audacity to question her decisions.

What she needed now was sleep. That was the only reason she was continuing this conversation with this man. He caused her sleeplessness. And Vanya was determined he be the solution for it even if she didn’t have a clue on how he could even help her on that front.

Perhaps it was the strain that she unknowingly allowed to show on her face. But Darcy ceased his lecture.

“You don’t look all right. When was the last time you slept?”

In spite of the years she had spent deceiving everyone, Vanya found it hard to give him an answer. 

But Darcy didn’t seem to need one to make the conclusion on his own.

“Look, you need sleep and this is no place to do it. The storm doesn’t look like it’s letting up so I don’t think you’ll be getting out of here soon on your own. I can’t drive you safely back to your apartment right now. My place is nearby. You’re welcome to stay there. I know I’m asking you for a huge leap of faith. But please trust me on this. I promise you’ll be safe with me.”

It was funny how Darcy thought he was a danger to her when Vanya was actually a danger to everyone.

He even let slip that he knew where she lived, sort of. Vanya would have pounced and asked him point blank how he knew. But the truth was that she didn’t want to stay at Griddy’s any longer and she was curious about where he lived.

Besides, there was an earnestness in his tone of voice that made Vanya believe him. So she accepted his offer, even though she doubted she’d get any sleep being in closer vicinity to him.

Vanya never did find an umbrella to shield them from the downpour from Griddy’s to his car. But Darcy used his coat to cover them. It didn’t help much. The upholstery of his car seats were wet from their clothes. But Darcy didn’t seem to mind.

Beethoven’s Violin Concerto in D Minor played as he switched his engine and his heater on. And although Vanya put much effort to hide it, she was secretly pleased at his choice of music. She didn’t think he’d be the sort to listen to it.

Vanya never did remember how they got to his condo from Griddy’s. By the time they arrived, she realized she had dozed off. Vanya suspected Darcy would have rather just carried her up. But thankfully, he decided against it. As he should. As Vanya would have preferred.

Unsurprisingly, Darcy’s condo was situated in the more affluent part of the city. The view of the city from his unit was breathtaking. And Vanya would have stood on the spot mesmerized had Darcy simply left her in the middle of his living room.

But for all the space his condo offered (it was more than twice the size of her apartment), Darcy’s home (if one could call it that) didn’t feel like one. There were no pictures of family and friends littering the walls or tables, no evidence of anyone other than Darcy taking up such a beautiful place.

It made him seem all the more mysterious. If it was intentional, then Darcy cultivated a persona of a man without a past. Or at least one that wanted to hide it. At least, in her opinion.

Vanya was sure he used his condo simply as a convenient space to sleep and store his belongings in. It wasn’t his home. Not really.

This should have sent up red flags and alarms in Vanya’s head. And to a certain extent it did. It was just that the need for caution could not overtake her growing fascination with this man. Not that she was ever going to act on it.

Ever since she decided to hunt predators, Vanya knew that she would have to give up any hope of a normal relationship. After all, having a significant other meant having to account for your whereabouts and letting someone close enough to notice there was something not quite right with you.

So truly, it was for the best to keep their interactions to a minimum. 

But now she wondered what it would be like to be in a relationship with Darcy. He felt like a kindred spirit. Someone with a lot of secrets and mostly preferred being alone to keep it. 

Would he respect her privacy as she believed he would want her to respect his?

Soon enough, she felt his eyes on her. Vanya took that as a sign to peel her eyes away from the view and her thoughts away from any notion that sounded vaguely romantic.

Without much fanfare, he had led her to the guest room with its own bathroom and towels. And promptly left her to her own devices with a curt “Good night.”

When she got out of the bath, she noticed a shirt on the bed. No doubt, Darcy had placed it there to loan to her.

Even with a thorough search through her powers, Vanya found nothing suspicious. Her hearing registered no sounds of cameras recording and hidden from sight. There were no indications of holes or openings on the walls either. The wall itself was thick concrete. No hollow crevice inside to denote any secret passageways.

So for all intents and purposes, Vanya was in a normal guest room. Though she found it strange that a man who lived alone would have a room for another person to sleep in. And one that was ready for use. 

The bed, complete with sheets, pillows and a comforter was already in place when she got there. And from the lack of any personal effects and clothes inside this room, no one had been unceremoniously kicked out of their bedroom to make way for Vanya.

Darcy never entered the guest room again. At least as far as Vanya knew. She had made sure she registered that tempo of breathing that indicated he was asleep before she retired. Vanya was fully aware that this may very well be another sleepless night even as she closed her eyes in this unfamiliar but comfortable room, wearing a shirt that still held Darcy’s scent.

It was there beneath the clean smell of detergent and fabric softener. And she wondered how she knew what Darcy smelled like underneath his suit and cologne.

Oh, yes. The brief moment he came close to lightly shake her awake. And that short walk from Griddy’s to his car while he took pains to ensure she was covered with his coat. For some unfathomable reason, this gentle side of his touched her. And despite her natural distrust of strangers, she found herself (not for the first time or the last time) liking him.

Which was so silly given that she didn’t even know his real name. All the waitresses and even some of their regular customers referred to him as Darcy that she was sure he was aware of the nickname.

Perhaps she’d outright call him Darcy to his face tomorrow.

While there were definitely red flags around Darcy, she felt that she could trust him. Or more to the point, she wanted to believe that he was a good person at heart, despite the many layers of indifference and arrogance.

There was just something about him.

But for the life of her, she couldn’t put her finger on it.

Not even when she woke up the next morning, fully rested after having slept at least eight hours for the first time in weeks. A few minutes later, she realized that he never answered her question.

So not only did she not know his real name, she also didn’t know why he’d insist on long sleeved shirts even on a hot summer day.


	6. Chapter 6

The first few seconds after she opened her eyes, Vanya had felt something that was eerily like hope. It was as if she was where she belonged and all was right with the world.

It was a sort of peace she hadn’t felt in a long while.

Despite herself, Vanya felt like she was a teenager again. Optimistic about the future, actually excited about what the world outside the Academy walls was truly like without the filter of Reginald Hargreeves’ dim world view.

Had her adoptive father had his way, he would have had her siblings continue on believing that the outside world only held two types of people: those that wanted to kill them because the Academy exists to thwart their efforts at world destruction and those that wished to worship and adore them. If Reginald Hargreeves had his way, he would have allowed Vanya to continue believing that she was useless, of no conceivable value to his precious Academy or anyone outside it.

However, there was no way Reginald Hargreeves could have completely prevented contact with the world outside of his mansion. Even as he endeavoured to be the sole intermediary between outsiders and his adopted children, Reginald had to concede that the mission of saving the world required his tools/charges to engage in it at some level.

When her adoptive father managed to collect all seven children, Vanya wondered what future he had actually envisioned for them? She was sure Reginald Hargreeves wanted soldiers trained to obey his orders without question. He wanted extraordinary individuals that shunned individual fulfilment for the sake of the collective good.

Looking back, Vanya could only marvel at how no one in the world (or in the house for that matter) figured out that Reginald Hargreeves wasn’t from this world at all. This wasn’t to say that no member of the homo sapien species had acted exactly or even worse than Dad on the matter of the rearing of children.

After all, how many times had anyone heard stories of parents who treated their children as mere extensions of themselves, forcing their children to follow the dreams they could not achieve on their own merits, seeing their children as mere property to exist for their own comfort and happiness, sacrificing their own children’s innocence and very happiness for the sake of whatever they felt could give them the most to gain?

To be fair, Vanya didn’t think Reginal Hargreeves took pleasure in the harshness of his training or even in containing Vanya’s abilities. 

That wasn’t to say it made her forgive him for being less than human (even if he was only one in disguise) and seeing everything around him as mere tools to be used for whatever he deemed as the greater good. And in that, he was no better than those who sell other people into slavery, seeing the enslaved as mere commodity to be used and discarded until their purpose was served. 

As far as Reginald was concerned, she and her siblings were objects without their own hopes and dreams for the future. To him, they existed to fulfill his mission, his plan and his grand design.

But as any decent parent knows or should have known, children eventually grow up to be their own person with interests and paths that don’t always align with that of the people that gave birth to and/or raised them. While a parent can certainly hope their children follow a path they deem to be beneficial, there comes a point where a parent has to let their children figure things out on their own.

It was never that way with Reginald Hargreeves.

Living under his roof meant that one followed his rules, ate the food placed on his table, wore the uniforms he provided, participated in whatever experiment or training he devised, slept when he deemed it time to sleep and only play on the designated time to play. As children who grew up in this environment, Vanya and her siblings thought this was how all households were like. But as they began to see the world around them from the snippets of books and the few times they got to sneak out of the house, it became clear as they grew older that they were certainly not being raised the same way as other children whose schools and homes were situated at completely different locations.

Such a thing confused Luther. And it angered Diego. To know that the way they had been raised wasn’t the only way to raise a child was certainly a revelation. The first time she saw a girl going up to her father for a hug and a kiss on the cheek, Vanya felt what she could only describe as shock. 

That wasn’t the type of behaviour that her adoptive father would expect or even condone. 

Overtime, that image gave her hope. While a teenaged Vanya still longed for love and acceptance from the rest of her family, she wasn’t exactly optimistic of that happening. 

At least, Five had been there with her. Even at thirteen, he was already making plans to make it on his own without assistance from the Academy. As they were each other’s sole confidantes, he would freely talk to her about it and about how he was going to take her with him.

That sparked so many days of happiness for her. At least, as much happiness as she could feel at a time she’d been required to ingest mood-altering medication.

But she remembered imagining the life they would have after the Academy as she fell asleep just as she remembered starting a new day with plans on what she could do to prepare for her new life.

However, as with any memory that conjured Five, there existed a bitterness tinged with the sweetness of a once happy memory.

It snapped her out of her nostalgia. And once again, Vanya realized where she was at the moment and how she happened to be here.

She was at Mr Darcy’s apartment, wearing his shirt and reminiscing about times that were long gone.

Vanya had woken up to a sunny day, which meant that she no longer had any reason to remain here. Her clothes should have dried up by now. So all she needed to do was get them, change, maybe write a quick thank you note and then get the hell out of there.

There might have been a time when she would have welcomed change. But as she had often repeated to herself, she wasn’t that person anymore.

Vanya had established a pretty good routine. One that kept her doing all right for herself while she indulged her more unsavoury appetites. Maybe she was simply being as paranoid as ever. But Mr Darcy didn’t seem like a man who let things slide. 

Vanya thrived at being overlooked by most people, only being noticed by predators who made a fatal error in judgment by thinking she was easy prey.

But she didn’t think she could get away with the level of scrutiny that Darcy could direct at her.

This was why she never accepted any genuine offers from any decent person. To get close to someone meant she had to open herself to them in ways that Vanya did not want to. Because it meant that she would eventually have to reopen old wounds that she had wanted buried in the deepest recesses of her mind. And most importantly, getting close to someone meant that sooner or later she would have to explain why she didn’t have friends outside of family and work, why she had a doll that looked like her long lost brother/lover when he was a toddler, or why she would take very long walks to who knows where rather than stay home when she wasn’t working a shift.

Vanya knew that plenty of people led double lives. Some have even been known as great friends, neighbours, parents and partners even while and/or up until being known to have committed the most brutal and heinous acts imaginable. 

They were monsters. If she was being honest, so was she.

But Vanya would like to think she was a different class of monster. Perhaps she was simply enough of a pragmatist to know that it was beyond her to juggle a personal life, work and her _ other work _. Perhaps she simply couldn’t bear to see the look on the face of someone she had grown to care about as they found out what she really was. She already walked a fine line to ensure (at least as best she can) that her siblings never found out and she couldn’t take adding another person to the list of people WHO CAN NEVER KNOW. Or perhaps she was simply a coward who didn’t want to get disappointed and hurt by a new person she allowed into her life.

Living outside the Umbrella Academy had given Vanya her fair share of joy and disappointment. It would be unfair of her to say that every one of the people she met made her question why the world should still continue on spinning. Other than her siblings, there was her coworker Agnes who took a chance on her and got her the job at Griddy’s. There were the people she worked with at the shelters who obviously chose their profession out of their desire to help people. There were the police and detectives who frequented her donut shop and have more than once frustrated and touched her with their concern for a young lady working late at night. It didn’t happen often, but occasionally, some of them would pass by to check up on her or buy their usual staple of coffee and donuts. 

Such visits have more than once spooked her stalker/future victim that she had to delay her kill at least for another day. There had been some who got so fixated on her that they would come back (and eventually regret that decision) so it wasn’t such a big deal in the grand scheme of things. But sometimes, Vanya had to wonder how many opportunistic rapists and killers her friends in blue had prevented from entering Griddy’s door. She knew she should be happy to know that there were people who cared enough to check up on her whenever they were able. On the other hand, she often took on the night shift alone just to get at this chance (albeit relatively infinitesimal) at a person seeing an opportunity that was actually a carefully laid out trap. Before Darcy, that chance was the only thing she looked forward to on the night shift.

She had to get out of there quickly. 

Darcy wasn’t even awake yet. She could hear the familiar, steady beat of his heart and the slightly muffled sound of his breathing, which indicated that he seemed to be more comfortable lying on his stomach than on his back.

Funny how Five was just like that.

Her errant thoughts going back to Five only brought about panic.

She liked Darcy. Perhaps especially because he was what she’d imagine Five would be like at that age. Or perhaps he was just her type who happened to not be a creepy stalker. Though given how he had technically stalked her, Vanya should probably just say that he wasn’t creepy. At least not to her.

Then again, with abilities that enabled her to end life with little thought, Vanya was on top of the food chain. The only thing she truly had to fear were her own actions. Actions she had to control lest it go out of control if she allowed herself to get closer to this man.

Because even now, she felt a desire to go up to his room, one he didn’t even bother to lock to a person who was basically a stranger (not that a lock could ever keep her out or in). If she let herself, Vanya would open that door, climb up to his bed, and have her way with him.

And after finally getting a good night’s sleep, Vanya knew that he wanted her as she wanted him. She felt sure that the man who owned this apartment was not one to form connections or bonds easily. Most likely, he wouldn’t deny her a one-night stand (one-morning stand, if she actually gave in to the impulse). She was clear-headed enough to know the signs of attraction. And she had watched him enough times to get the impression that he wasn’t the type to let a stranger into his home out of the goodness of his heart (years of living outside the Academy, working at a job that had her interacting with all sorts of people and hunting her _ preferred quarry _ gave her a good sense of people). 

Vanya didn’t think Darcy was the type to steal food from a soup kitchen or money from seniors. But there was something about him that made her think he was dangerous and not at all an upstanding citizen. And yet, she was sure he had no intention of hurting her.

So perhaps it was safe to straddle him and take her pleasure.

On the other hand, what’s to say she wouldn’t want to come back for more? And what’s to say he wouldn’t want more? At the moment, what’s best for her was a bout of no-strings-attached sex. A man who just wanted a quick lay would have been perfect especially if he were also a man who would lose interest once he got what he wanted. Darcy’s home gave Vanya the impression (perhaps accurate, perhaps mistaken) that he was exactly that sort of man. 

But what if she actually had sex with him and he decided to keep coming to Griddy’s, where she’ll see him almost every day?

For once, Vanya didn’t know if she should be glad or disappointed that Darcy wasn’t (she didn’t think) that sort of asshole.

If she left now, she could at least make up an excuse if and when he came by at Griddy’s later. Vanya did have to check up on Quinn. 

But that wasn’t truly accurate either. Quinn was a doll. Vanya knew that.

Quinn didn’t need to eat or sleep or be told that he was loved. Quinn actually required little to no investment. 

All he needed to do was be back at her apartment when she came home and let himself be held and sung to as if he was a young child with his mother.

And that was exactly why Vanya needed Quinn. Because who else did she have left?

It took Vanya no time at all to gather her clothes and change out of her borrowed sleepwear. 

As she passed the threshold of Darcy’s front door, Vanya had to cringe at the reminder that she still didn’t know his real name.

____________________

_It’s me, Vanya._

_Please live with me, Vanya. My place is bigger, safer and you don’t have to work a day in your life again._

_Vanya, I know about Quinn. And I get it. I can only imagine what you had to go through all these years. But believe me when I say I have an idea. I have a...friend. Her name is Dolores…___

_ _Five spent many a night contemplating how he could reveal himself to Vanya and hated himself for it. Because there was no point indulging in a fantasy._ _

_ _He had a mission, one that involved saving the world, Vanya definitely included. And checking up on her when he should have been looking for clues and following up on leads wasn’t helping one bit._ _

_ _Admittedly, Five wasn’t exactly at his best when he first...got back (for the lack of a better way to put it). He had always been a self-centered piece of shit. And this was made even more apparent when he decided to drink himself into oblivion the moment he got back._ _

_ _Five honestly didn’t know or remember how he managed to steal Dolores from her department store. But by the time he gained some sort of lucidity, he was confronted with a grown-up Vanya who didn’t recognise him. _ _

_ _At the time, he couldn’t blame her. Five didn’t look any different from the other homeless men crowding the poorer districts of the city._ _

_ _If his limbs hadn’t felt so weighed down at the time, he might have grabbed her, embraced her and never let go. In hindsight, it was for the best that he didn’t. She would have thought he was taking advantage of her._ _

_ _So he took his fill of her back as she walked away from him._ _

_ _He fully expected her to leave his place without even a goodbye. Five knew that she never dated, never had any relationships outside of work. Associated only with colleagues and family._ _

_ _After basically abandoning her to have a baby alone and losing the baby, he knew that he had a debt to pay for what he did to her. _ _

_ _But that wasn’t the only reason he felt compelled to see her, to be seen by her._ _

_ _For all his pragmatism, Five was still a fool. An old fool who still hoped she’d take him back one day._ _

_ _But he couldn't take the chance. Especially not now. The apocalypse was coming. And he had no idea how to stop it._ _

_ _Going back and revealing himself to dear old Dad hadn’t been much help either. _ _

_ _The old man didn’t think Five was in his right mind. But Five lived decades in the world after the apocalypse. He knew what he saw, what he heard, what he felt. He bore the brunt of the isolation and solitude that would have crushed him if not for Dolores._ _

_ _But for all his hardships and even his reluctant admission that the old man had been right to forbid his attempts at time travel, Reginald Hargreeves thought he knew better than Five. _ _

_ _He would have gone to Vanya immediately had Pogo not told him what happened to her, what Dad did to her after he...left. _ _

_ _He wanted to kill the old man, after that. Perhaps, he actually would have too if his mind hadn’t already raced to the realisation that Five bore the brunt of the blame. He did get Vanya pregnant. And in his arrogance, he ended up leaving her to suffer the consequences._ _

_ _Five had always known Reginald Hargreeves wanted absolute control over the Academy, even if Vanya was considered as merely adjacent to his beloved Umbrella Academy. Someone underaged getting pregnant would certainly tarnish the Academy’s image and leave him open to attacks in regards to his parenting (if it could be called that). In fact, the only thing that somewhat surprised him was how the old man allowed the pregnancy to progress that far._ _

_ _Then again, Vanya was and had always been a clever girl. Five had always known and loved that about her. Most likely, she managed to hide her pregnancy from the old man for quite some time. _ _

_ _But in the end, it wasn’t enough. And Vanya wasn’t the same after that. _ _

_ _Five always thought she’d be a world-class violinist by now. She practiced more than anyone. And she was better than a lot of musicians he had heard. And coming from Five, that was saying a lot because he never gave out undeserved compliments. In fact, he didn’t even bother handing out deserved ones._ _

_ _Instead, she was working a dead-end job at Griddy’s serving a bunch of perverts who couldn’t stop looking at her breasts or her butt. Five wanted to strangle them. It was a good thing they didn’t become regulars or he would have done something about it._ _

_ _He always felt relieved whenever she turned someone down. _ _

_ _But for her sake, Five did think he was a selfish prick to prefer Vanya being alone if she couldn’t be with him._ _

_ _He was the one who was supposed to be at her side, ready to defend her and protect her. And that was the rub, wasn’t it?_ _

_ _Even if he managed to save the world, he was years too late to save Vanya’s. If he could, Five would go back in time to stop Reginald Hargreeves from aborting the pregnancy or at least give her enough room to breathe to make her own choice. But he never did manage to control that ability. _ _

_ _It remained a waking nightmare that he’d somehow find himself back in the apocalypse again. _ _

_ _Another attempt at a time jump could very well send him back there even as it could send him to the time he preferred. It was simply unpredictable. And at this point, there was no other way but to move forward even if that meant there was no way to repair Vanya’s broken mind._ _

_ _Pogo said that she was a lot better now than she was after the procedure. Seeing her catatonic and barely reacting to anything broke whatever remained of his heart. Because of course, the old man would keep recordings of even that. Powerless as Vanya was, that didn’t exempt her from being a subject to the old man’s experiments._ _

_ _She thought a doll that Klaus had brought her was her baby. Even now, that same doll was in her apartment. Five knew because he visited it once. Of course, while Vanya was out. _ _

_ _Sometimes he wondered if Vanya viewed Quinn the same way he viewed Dolores. If he and Vanya shared the same sort of madness._ _

_ _But Five had not time for abstract when there were other things that needed to be done. _ _

_ _Vanya’s apartment was a shitty place. But at a waitress’ wage, it was better than most._ _

_ _That didn’t change the fact that he wanted to get her out of there. But short of kidnapping, how was he supposed to do that? This was her home. To her, it was even more of a home than Hargreeves manor._ _

_ _Besides, there was no way he could reveal who he really was. For one thing, his former employers were looking for him. And for another, Five didn’t want to risk Vanya’s sanity._ _

_ _While not exactly the future Vanya had envisioned for herself, it was a life Vanya had built on her own. Given how their other siblings were living their lives, Vanya was arguably the most successful in the outside world. Ben was dead. Luther was in some sort-of self-exile on the moon and never even attempted to forge a life away from the Academy. And the others, namely Klaus, Diego and Allison, have found themselves in varying degrees of hot water with the law due to their use and abuse of their addictions (Narcotics for Klaus, Vigilantism for Diego and The need to always have her way for Allison)._ _

_ _How could he threaten that life by telling her he was back?_ _

_ _There were a lot of things he would risk and sacrifice to achieve his ends. But not Vanya’s well-being._ _

_ _And here he was being a creepy stalker. Always arriving during her shifts and now even inviting her to his home._ _

_ _Vanya took a big risk in trusting him, he knew. Because to her, he was a stranger who may very well have done a number of unspeakable things to her. And in this day and age, it wasn’t uncommon to hear of girls disappearing without a trace. Not from running away (thought that was already common enough). But from some harm most likely coming to them._ _

_ _It wasn’t unheard of for their bodies to never be found and yet for everyone who knew them to be sure down to the marrow of their bones that their girls encountered foul play. The worst part of it was that the ones left behind wouldn’t be able to have closure because they would never know what happened to those girls._ _

_ _Having been part of the Commission, Five knew these things happened all too well. He had instigated some of them, after all. _ _

_ _He took no pleasure in what he had done. But the fate of the world was at stake. So he did what he had to do._ _

_ _Five knew he didn’t deserve a life with Vanya. That still didn’t stop him from wanting one or from feeling hurt to hear her go out the door._ _

_ _But there was nothing he could do about that._ _

_ _Five had lived for years on a diet of crumbs and cockroaches. He figured that he would just have to make do with whatever Vanya decided to send his way._ _

_ _So he started his day going through the motions: dressing himself, getting his cup of coffee (superior to the slop served at Griddy’s) and reading the newspaper._ _

_ _The knock at his door caught him off-guard. It could be Pogo or the old man. But that wasn’t likely, Pogo would at least have the decency to call first. And the old man wouldn’t deign to “visit,” even if Five actually decided to invite him (which Five would never do in a million years)._ _

_ _He had half a mind to teleport and catch this unwelcome visitor by surprise. But he controlled himself. Instead, he had his pistol ready in hand._ _

_ _Only to put it away once he spied Vanya outside his door._ _

_ _She gave him an endearing smile as he opened the door and motioned for her to come inside._ _

_ _“Sorry. I hope I didn’t wake you. I bought these to thank you for taking me in for the night.”_ _

_ _She had bought bagels from the nearby bakery. _ _

_ _Given the neighbourhood, those were overpriced bagels that weren’t any better than the donuts she served. But Five made a mental note to tip her more than usual the next time he came by at Griddy’s, which given his schedule was going to be later that day._ _

_ _________________________ _

_ _Vanya left Darcy’s building fully intending to stay as far away from him as possible._ _

_ _But call it a higher power, fate or the universe, something changed her mind. _ _

_ _Vanya had always had the power to hone in on any sound. It took her some time to figure out what each vibration, note, decibel and tone meant. But eventually, it gave her enough to go by in terms of the type of people that surrounded her neighbourhood. _ _

_ _Soon enough, she was able to determine the uncomfortable correlation of a Polaroid camera and a van (a lot of pedophiles owned both). It also gave her a pretty good way of telling which couples were having affairs and were planning to off their spouses to be together or to cash in on life insurance. In short, Vanya got a pretty good idea of what her neighbours were like behind closed doors. In this case, she used the term “neighbours” pretty loosely as she had a very wide range. Vanya still hadn’t determined how far the sound would have to be in order for it to be beyond her capabilities to receive. But it wouldn’t take long._ _

_ _Her neighbourhood wasn’t exactly populated by people brimming with cash. So it was actually very uncommon for her to hear of a murder plot for life insurance. But not so for Darcy’s neighbourhood. She hadn’t even stepped out of his building before encountering (overhearing) one a few blocks away. The further she walked away from the building, the more she listened. Someone was watching kiddie porn nearby. _ _

_ _And another seemed to be conducting some illicit drug deal and from the sound of it, that someone was higher up in the organisation that distributed illegal narcotics. _ _

_ _Now, she really had no choice but to somehow find an excuse to visit Darcy again. His area had prey. And she very much wanted to hunt._ _

_ _After all, the drug trade and the sex trade (in which slavery was a safe bet) were far too intimately connected, so there were people that needed punishing. If the person was really higher up the food chain, then Vanya could possibly have more access to the type of people she needed to kill. _ _

_ _Besides, even if it was simply a drug deal, a lot of heinous crimes stemmed from drugs, whether it stemmed from the abuse of ingesting it or the profit to be made out of it._ _

_ _Having just acquired a legitimate excuse to keep in touch with Darcy, Vanya calmed herself. She told herself Darcy was the most expedient way to access a different type of prey. One that had money to pay the best lawyers in case they ever get caught. Instead of relying on mere anonymity and police incompetence to get away scot free, this one had power and influence to erase records of their wrongdoings._ _

_ _Vanya hoped Darcy liked the bagels. She really didn’t think having a relationship with him was a good idea. But perhaps if she concentrated on keeping it platonic, then it wouldn’t get too complicated. At least, that’s what she told herself._ _


End file.
